celticghirl

Today i have been thinking how sad i feel for my ex,and how sometimes when i think that i am now moving on with my life i feel deep sadness for him that he isnt.

I would rather feel anger at him than sadness because it hurts me.

I have recently started to get back intouch with old friends and we are arranging a night out,but i still have this pain in my heart with regards to his life getting worse,i know these are his own choices but this is what stops me from enjoying myself fully.

I also know there is nothing i can do about it,i have tried too much but still this sadness for him wont go away. Does it ever go away?

Ghirl xx

RollTide

I'm at the exact same place you are, Ghirlfriend. My life is good and the more I work my own program and do the things that I know to do the better it gets. I do have compassion for my XAH and realize that his struggle is not easy and also that he is the only one that can fix himself. I feel like I'm getting better every day and he's sinking lower.

I also lost touch with friends because of his alcoholism. I've made efforts to renew those friendships and the results are wonderful. I have no answers for him but I do know exactly what to do for myself and I'm doing it every day. I try daily to say a prayer for him and then go about my life.

RollTide

"AS IT WILL NEVER BE."

Absolutely. That's the big one.

Cynay

Hello there.

One of the things that really helped me with letting go is it was not long before I realized my EX AH was actually happier when out relationship ended. Sound strange??

Well when we were together we were always fighting, I was always tring to change him or just sad. I'm sure he was pretty sick and tired of my always beating a dead horse and he could not be himself around me. Though he was and probably still is an Alcoholic he did not "want" to stop drinking. He told me many times it was impossible to please me and he was right.

It dawned on me I had no right to try to change him and when I met his new wife and saw how they both enjoy the same lifestyle I had to think about how un-matched we really were.

Who know what the future will hold for him or myself for that matter, but what I do know is that after the initial shock of the relationship ending he was and is happier without me trying to change him all the time then he was with me.

Gods Plan is Always Better

celticghirl

Thanks guys,i think letting go is still a big issue for me,i have just ordered a book on letting go so i hope that will help me xx

Ghirl xx

Cyranoak

...so I think I'll just say this and I mean it kindly. It doesn't go away by itself. You have to let it go away.

The key words here are "Let," "It," and "go."

Let it go.

Let him go.

Move on with your life.

Take what you want and leave the rest.

Cyranoak