Jazzman

I often catch myself future tripping, it's a tough habit to break. It's not really cheaper from a CS perspective and requires more of a parenting commitment that he probably makes right now.

Is he a 50/50 parent right now?

whereisthisgoin

He is not a 50/50 parent right now, even under the same roof. He pretty much works and is the major bread winner for the house. He travels a lot. He does spend some quality time with our son. He does not do much in way of helping getting our son to/from anywhere.

CS paid to me would be cheaper for him at 50-50 because of the formula which makes the payment smaller based on a certain number of nights spent with the CS-paying parent.

tjp613

If you have a good lawyer, then I doubt a judge would award 50-50 custody to an alcoholic father who travels a lot.

Are you documenting?

Freedom1990

I think people sometimes confuse joint custody with a 50/50 physical residence thing, which isn't always the case.

In my first divorce, which my oldest daughter is the result of that marriage, I had primary physical custody, but also joint custody in that we played equal parts in important decisions such as medical care, and split the costs.

The courts established visitation, which meant every other weekend to his house, 5 weeks total in the summer, and we alternated holidays every year.

whereisthisgoin

How did that arrangement work out for you and your daughter? What was the good and the bad?

Freedom1990

Actually it worked out pretty well for a few years, but then I went through rehab myself and moved over 2 hours away.

By then he had remarried and started a new family, so visitation wasn't nearly as frequent. That was hard for me because I knew it hurt my daughter.

We only lived about 6 blocks from each other after the divorce, so she was often there more than what visitation specified. He was pretty flexible on her spending time with him because he worked a swing shift (12 hour days, 3 days one week, 4 the next).

He was always good about paying support too, but then he's not an alcoholic or addict.

Live

I recently said to my ah that my XAABF had quite for several months one time...ah corrected me, the didn't quit, he it was a PAUSE

wow.

Jazzman

In my VA the formula example, salaries make a much larger difference than nights spent. It does make a small difference, but not enough to make or break a budget. And you basically double everything at each parents house. Clothes, bedroom furniture, Xboxes, etc...

If he's not doing 50/50 now then he can't do it later. He's bluffing.