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AH has left the building!

Old 11-01-2010, 05:36 PM
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AH has left the building!

Well, home from the weekend away, AH did as he said he would and got all of his things out of the house and into his place. The separation has begun. It was very strange to see all of his clothes gone and the garage torn apart from moving out his stuff. I cried a little, then went on to fill up the empty closet space with my clothes, cleaned up, took a bath and vegged. I have found myself kinda cranky. My problem now is talking to my son to explain to him his father's addiction. My 13 year old thinks it is normal for guys to drink and that I just got tired of his dad partying. It is so hard when people minimize the intensity of the situation. My counselor has helped me realize I need to explain it to him, but I fear he will not believe me or minimize the situation himself. I was thinking of having him see a counselor also to help with his anger because I see him getting angry more often and over little things. Understandable of course. I went to the store today and when I starting thinking of what I needed to get for lunches, etc. I felt sad/weird that I wouldn't be buying what my AH liked and surprising him, one less person to take care of. Now I need to take care of myself. My GERD is flaming up so that is a good indication of what is going on inside myself. Maybe I will take a day off work this week for me.......
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Old 11-01-2010, 05:46 PM
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Sounds like your son has been internalizing dad's behavior for awhile--it's always a little disconcerting when we realize kids think the nutty behavior they've seen is "normal". To them, I guess it is--which is why so many ACOA's need help. And why kids who grow up with abuse tend to become abusers or victims, themselves.

Glad he got his stuff out without making it a huge ordeal.

Pamper yourself--you can work on making it YOUR space in the days and weeks to come.

Hugs,
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Old 11-01-2010, 06:00 PM
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Thirteen is a difficult age without all the additional stress of having a father who is an alcoholic. Boys of that age want to grow up just like their fathers, that is a hard mindset to turn around. I like the idea of him seeing a counselor.

As for your anger, it does serve a purpose for awhile, then if not gotten under control, it will like acid, eat you from the inside out. You are aware of the anger, this is a good sign, pay attention, if you feel that you need help, go for it. You will not regret your decision.

The bottom line is: You are a good Mom, keep moving forward.
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