I learned my lesson!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 103
I learned my lesson!
The past 12 days have been rough!
I haven't had a day off yet, work has been crazy busy to boot.
My car had problems, then my phone went kaput... of course the problems were fixed by lots of $$.
Then I had the bright idea of going to a "meet and greet" event and it was a disaster. We all met at restaurant and by the time I got there, many of the people were getting drunk. nice.
So, what did I do?
Did I take time to slow down, to get more rest, to nourish my body with healthy food?
NO! of course not.
I pushed myself even harder, visited lots of drive throughs and then got so low that I drove by his place again just to see his lights on. how sad is that?
The worse part was I didn't visit this site!
Today, I sat down at my computer with tons of work to do, but I said to heck with work, I need time to focus on me. I started reading the posts and my desire to "reconnect with my XABF" is slowly dissapating.
To be honest, I miss him, I still dream that someday he will have flowers sent to my office with a note saying he loves me and wants a real life with me.
His rejection of me still hurts.
Each day I want to reconnect, I tell myself you can do it tomorrow, just give it a day, think hard about what you want to say to him. And then tomorrow comes, and I do it all over again.
I pray for the day when I no longer desire to connect, when I realize that thoughts of him are fleeting and rare.
Until then, this is where I need to be.
Reading our posts and feeling the love in our responses to each other gives me strength, gives me courage.
I learned today that I really need ALL OF YOU!
I haven't had a day off yet, work has been crazy busy to boot.
My car had problems, then my phone went kaput... of course the problems were fixed by lots of $$.
Then I had the bright idea of going to a "meet and greet" event and it was a disaster. We all met at restaurant and by the time I got there, many of the people were getting drunk. nice.
So, what did I do?
Did I take time to slow down, to get more rest, to nourish my body with healthy food?
NO! of course not.
I pushed myself even harder, visited lots of drive throughs and then got so low that I drove by his place again just to see his lights on. how sad is that?
The worse part was I didn't visit this site!
Today, I sat down at my computer with tons of work to do, but I said to heck with work, I need time to focus on me. I started reading the posts and my desire to "reconnect with my XABF" is slowly dissapating.
To be honest, I miss him, I still dream that someday he will have flowers sent to my office with a note saying he loves me and wants a real life with me.
His rejection of me still hurts.
Each day I want to reconnect, I tell myself you can do it tomorrow, just give it a day, think hard about what you want to say to him. And then tomorrow comes, and I do it all over again.
I pray for the day when I no longer desire to connect, when I realize that thoughts of him are fleeting and rare.
Until then, this is where I need to be.
Reading our posts and feeling the love in our responses to each other gives me strength, gives me courage.
I learned today that I really need ALL OF YOU!
peaceful seabird
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: floating
Posts: 4,822
H.A.L.T.
Hungry
Angry
Lonely
Tired
Those are the triggers that can cause us to react and make unhealthy choices.
You have been tired, hungry and lonely. Wham!
Be gentle with yourself. You deserve rest, peace, nourishment and friends (us)! Have a peaceful evening.
Hungry
Angry
Lonely
Tired
Those are the triggers that can cause us to react and make unhealthy choices.
You have been tired, hungry and lonely. Wham!
Be gentle with yourself. You deserve rest, peace, nourishment and friends (us)! Have a peaceful evening.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Somewhere in the big ole' world....
Posts: 545
I spent the better part of the day at University Orientation. My brain and feet are both very tired. Didn't think of the EXABF once-I was too busy enjoying myself. Bought a ridiculously expensive rugby shirt with the school logo on it.
When I got home, I thought to myself-"pick up the phone and tell him about how today went." Then, I remembered that my going to school was out of his comfort zone-that was one of our biggest arguments.
So, I went to my Facebook page, updated my status with my day at school had lots of responses from genuine friends who are actually happy at my return to school. Dropped by SR, read through some threads and lost the desire to reconnect.
I feel the same way as you do, groybin. I miss him in spite of what we have been though. I do want to reconnect but know what that will lead to-more heartache. It hurts but somehow, I get through this day, an hour, if necessary, a minute at a time.....
Hugs coming your way.......:day6
When I got home, I thought to myself-"pick up the phone and tell him about how today went." Then, I remembered that my going to school was out of his comfort zone-that was one of our biggest arguments.
So, I went to my Facebook page, updated my status with my day at school had lots of responses from genuine friends who are actually happy at my return to school. Dropped by SR, read through some threads and lost the desire to reconnect.
I feel the same way as you do, groybin. I miss him in spite of what we have been though. I do want to reconnect but know what that will lead to-more heartache. It hurts but somehow, I get through this day, an hour, if necessary, a minute at a time.....
Hugs coming your way.......:day6
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 103
Thanks all of you for being honest. It feels so good knowing that I am not alone in my pain... that despite knowing how bad, sad, lonely, frustrating it was.. we still love them.
I spoke to a friend of mine tonight who has a brother who is an alcoholic. He told me the only way you can really help them is to let them go so they can hit rock bottom quicker.
Only then is true recovery possible.
I am filled with so much guilt at cutting my XABF off completely, but I have to remind myself that our relationship wasn't healthy, he wasn't healthy.
Right now, as he is, there is no hope, no future, no happy ending.
By continuing contact, I am enabling him at the expense of my well-being.
I spoke to a friend of mine tonight who has a brother who is an alcoholic. He told me the only way you can really help them is to let them go so they can hit rock bottom quicker.
Only then is true recovery possible.
I am filled with so much guilt at cutting my XABF off completely, but I have to remind myself that our relationship wasn't healthy, he wasn't healthy.
Right now, as he is, there is no hope, no future, no happy ending.
By continuing contact, I am enabling him at the expense of my well-being.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Wizard Land Downunder
Posts: 2,615
Girls, Girls, Girls........what are you doing to yourselves?
You almost filled the H.A.L.T card all at once, by ignoring the most important woman in the world.....YOU.
Now a big congratulations for not giving in to this urge to merge with your exe's, and repairing the boo boo. You can all have an extra dollop of pampering this week.
God bless
You almost filled the H.A.L.T card all at once, by ignoring the most important woman in the world.....YOU.
Now a big congratulations for not giving in to this urge to merge with your exe's, and repairing the boo boo. You can all have an extra dollop of pampering this week.
God bless
It will get better
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
