How To Stop Thinking About Someone

Old 08-27-2010, 03:03 PM
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How To Stop Thinking About Someone

I wrote this poem and thought other people might find it helpful. It sort of summarizes a lot of the thoughts I've been having lately about my AH. He's in recovery (I think) but our relationship is probably over. It's hard too have invested so much and not gotten to reap the benefits. Here's to moving on:

How To Stop Thinking About Someone

How to stop thinking about someone,
when all your might and will
has been thus far tortuously spent
on avoiding swallowing that bitter pill

That things are over, is very clear
to all your friends and family.
So why are you left sitting in tears
wondering why it's over, no really?

It's over because you cannot be
an apple tree trying to grow plums.
You were meant to be an apple tree,
not desperate, not tired, not sad and glum.

So you've hit your bottom,
the end of the road,
you're too desperate to think.
You've forgotten everything about
all of the things you once loved to do,
your likes, your loves, your dislikes.

Because in all your efforts
to grow your plums,
there were no apples, no sirree!
And without your apples,
no apple-filled treats could be.

And although everyone did beg and plead,
that it was your apples they really did need,
you were too busy pretending to be
a happy apple tree making plums, and heard not a thing.

And when you've stopped being true
to yourself, your friends and all of humanity,
it's a very, very sad thing to see.

Busy imagining you were content and free,
you began to forget what it meant to be
fulfilled in your God-given abilities.
And, therefore, you became empty and full of needs.

Why didn't you feel good about yourself,
when you woke up in the middle of the night?
Why was it hard to be alone,
why did you crave to yell and fight?

Why did you accuse others of being wrong
of being mean, of even taking too long?
Why couldn't you sit and be,
a pretty, happy apple-producing apple tree?

An apple tree busy making apples
is busy as any busy bee.
Too busy in fact to hear a heart
asking, why doesn't he love me?

Accept the facts that aren't changing,
accept the truth and honestly
listen to me when I tell thee,
the only way to stop thinking about someone
is to get off your butt and stay busy.

Because the only way to control your thoughts
is to fill your mind with all kinds of things
that are interesting, rich, and satisfying.
Maybe even the types of things an apple tree might find funny

That way you can pick and choose your thoughts,
and maybe even hear the honest heart
that whispers quietly when you're all alone,
that you're worth it, you're fun to be around,
And you're very, very pretty.

Oh apple tree.
Tell me you learned something,
as you tried and tried to make plums.
That you realized nobody was happy,
especially when your sour plums needed sugar in lumps.

Oh, I know, it was embarassing, and it was so unfair,
as you cried and cried about your ugly plums,
complaining about how you hated your life,
how you hated those apple branches, who cares!

But it was you who chose to force yourself
into a box that was never going to fit,
and denied yourself all your heart's true desires,
in your determination to make fruit with a pit.

There's nothing wrong with making plums,
if plums it was your heart's true desire to make.
The problem here is simple:
You thought plums were better.
Maybe it was the pit?

Why oh why,
How oh how,
Can you think plums are better than apples?
Is it because it's too easy to just make apples?

Maybe the truth is that you have never
felt really comfortable in your skin.
You've always looked at plum trees
and believed they were happy.
So it's not the pit.

Maybe those plum trees were happy, maybe they weren't.
All's I know is life shouldn't be a struggle.
Do you want to be unhappy?
Because you're sure acting like it.

That kind of conflict is hard to bear,
to be something you weren't born to be.
And so you were stressed, tired and worn,
and you thought admitting it meant you had quit.

I very much think,
that this Someone in question,
of whom you cannot stop your thoughts,
is probably not as worried as you about you
and those ugly sour plums you've been making.

Nobody wants to be around a sad apple tree
that cries and cries every night.
Not that Someone, or anyone really,
can tolerate such a pitiful sight.

Accepting that Someone isn't there for you,
is simply a lesson in life
that we all have been forced to learn,
in terror, unhappiness and strife.

I'm sorry, what was that you said?
You think that Someone liked your plums?
You think you could make Someone happy?
Even at the cost of just one apple tree?

You can't make someone happy.
No matter what you think,
You can't control their happiness,
it's only your own ship you will sink.

Oh people may lie,
smile through closed teeth,
and tell you life's a breeze.
But if they're really there for you,
they'll tell you it feels like brain freeze.

For to stop one's thoughts,
to control one's thoughts,
is a dangerous and long journey,
that has no ends
but is simply a hard choice
everyday, to just be free.

When you realize that it wasn't meant to be,
like magic you will suddenly have
all day and all night to be happy!
And have no thoughts of that certain Somebody.

And maybe even you will learn
to be a happy apple tree
making apples for everybody
and smiling at your branches
thinking how silly you once used to be.
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Old 08-27-2010, 03:16 PM
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WOW...that is wonderful
I am going thru the same thing as you are now
and it really helped
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Old 08-27-2010, 03:26 PM
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I Love Who I Am
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Alcoholics version:

Drink more.
Replace the drink, and that someone, quickly.

Sorry, I"m feeling snide.
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Old 08-27-2010, 11:44 PM
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A jug fills drop by drop
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Thanks for posting this poem! I agree it is a sad sight when someone is not authentic and when that someone is you....
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