Freedom1990

Just for my own clarification, you did say you are not an addict and/or alcoholic, correct?

Learn2Live

Additionally, what makes you think that "without me" equals the abyss for him? Who appointed you his Higher Power?

infiniti

That is correct; I am not. I have used drugs maybe 20 individual times over the past 25 years and I have abused alcohol when I would binge drink on weekends (well over 3 years ago). But I've never needed it, never craved it, never had an issue when I didn't have any. I've turned it down many times when it's been offered by friends. I do not keep alcohol in my house as normal practice. But I stopped drinking even socially months ago to be supportive of my RABF, and other than maybe 3 beers and 2 margaritas (all separate from one another), I haven't had any alcohol in almost 8 months. I can stop at one.

So, no ... I do not believe I am an addict/alcoholic.

I never said I was his Higher Power, did I? And I don't believe I ever said that "without me" equals the abyss for him, either.

My phrasing was meant to convey that I cannot and will not turn my back on someone I love and care about, as long as he is trying to get his sh*t together. Conversely, when I discovered he had relapsed, I told him then that if was going to continue to use at all, I couldn't stay on that roller coaster with him anymore. I told him I love him, I always wanted what's best for him, and I wouldn't watch him self-destruct.

But to be honest, he has no one else in his life other than his mother, me and his sister (who is also an addict). He has no friends due to all of his friends being druggies and he has no contact with them anymore.

I was thrilled last night, however, to hear that he is finally seeking a sponsor in his NA program. He also re-established his sobriety at his meeting, admitting that he fell and relapsed after 364 days of sobriety, and vowed to do 90 meetings in 90 days. I told him how proud I was of him, which I am ... so proud I could just burst!