Doing well but need help
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Reality, NJ
Posts: 853
Doing well but need help
Hi all,
I need some help. I am doing well as far as No Contact and taking care of myself and I think I feel ok. I just had surgery 10 days ago so maybe I am being hard on myself but I have lost motivation to leave the house except at night and even that is hard. Its weird. I dont want to go into the real world during the day. Maybe I have some anxiety or fear. Maybe I am depressed and dont realize it? There is a part of me that wants to go shopping or go to a park and then another part of me is scared and lonely. I cant seem to make it to alanon meetings either. And I know they will make me feel better. I have no energy level either. I cant exercise for another few days due to doctors orders but I am getting worried about me. I havent been at work and need to return next week so I need to nip this thing. I wanted to take a ride to a craft store today and church but I cant seem to go. Help? So strange. I admit I am lonely but that can be solved if I just left the house. Self sabotaging?
Hugs,
Lulu
I need some help. I am doing well as far as No Contact and taking care of myself and I think I feel ok. I just had surgery 10 days ago so maybe I am being hard on myself but I have lost motivation to leave the house except at night and even that is hard. Its weird. I dont want to go into the real world during the day. Maybe I have some anxiety or fear. Maybe I am depressed and dont realize it? There is a part of me that wants to go shopping or go to a park and then another part of me is scared and lonely. I cant seem to make it to alanon meetings either. And I know they will make me feel better. I have no energy level either. I cant exercise for another few days due to doctors orders but I am getting worried about me. I havent been at work and need to return next week so I need to nip this thing. I wanted to take a ride to a craft store today and church but I cant seem to go. Help? So strange. I admit I am lonely but that can be solved if I just left the house. Self sabotaging?
Hugs,
Lulu
To thine own self be true.
Join Date: May 2009
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 5,924
I think that when you are ready to leave the house, you will. Because you WANT to go, but just can't right? Trust your instincts, I say. Something is telling you to stay home and it is OK to follow that voice and not become anxious that you won't be able to take care of you. But if the feeling continues and you are not able to take care of your daily responsibilities, then you should reach out for help.
Sometimes my Self makes me retreat entirely from the world. I think it is because our bodies and minds can really only take so much. But in our modern society we push ourselves and expose ourselves to so many stressors. Too much, I think. Your body sounds like has called a time out. Enjoy it! Get some extra naptime!
Sometimes my Self makes me retreat entirely from the world. I think it is because our bodies and minds can really only take so much. But in our modern society we push ourselves and expose ourselves to so many stressors. Too much, I think. Your body sounds like has called a time out. Enjoy it! Get some extra naptime!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Boston, ma
Posts: 59
Hi Lulu,
I hope you are feeling better after surgery. I think the way you are feeling could be because of being cooped up and going through surgery. I always got depressed after surgery. Be gentle with yourself and maybe give a call to a friend at work. It might make you feel better to know what has been happening since you have been out (maybe you have already done that). I would feel the same way when being out of work for any length of time. I would just want to stay home in my little cocoon.
Hugs out to you and hope you are feeling better real soon.
Barbi
I hope you are feeling better after surgery. I think the way you are feeling could be because of being cooped up and going through surgery. I always got depressed after surgery. Be gentle with yourself and maybe give a call to a friend at work. It might make you feel better to know what has been happening since you have been out (maybe you have already done that). I would feel the same way when being out of work for any length of time. I would just want to stay home in my little cocoon.
Hugs out to you and hope you are feeling better real soon.
Barbi
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,888
It's been 10 months since I separated from XABF and I still feel that way.
I used to keep my head down and talk to noone when I had to go out to grocery shop. My family has helped a lot in encouraging me to visit and go on outings and my friends cajole me into participating in things so that has helped.
I still have days I avoid people entirely and find that when I lay my head down at night I realize I haven't spoken to another human all day. I often prefer the company of my four-legged companions to most people anyway.
It takes times. I agree you should go with your gut. If you're not feeling right about it, don't go out. You'll go to work when the time comes, but it's like a growing baby. You do everything you can to keep them in the safety of the womb until they have the ability to thrive in the world. You'll get there.
These days, I am yearning for new adventures, but my inner voice is still nervous. I'll know when I'm ready if I'm patient, listen to my gut, and wait for my HP's sign that it's time.
Glad you are recovering well from your surgery!!
Alice
I used to keep my head down and talk to noone when I had to go out to grocery shop. My family has helped a lot in encouraging me to visit and go on outings and my friends cajole me into participating in things so that has helped.
I still have days I avoid people entirely and find that when I lay my head down at night I realize I haven't spoken to another human all day. I often prefer the company of my four-legged companions to most people anyway.
It takes times. I agree you should go with your gut. If you're not feeling right about it, don't go out. You'll go to work when the time comes, but it's like a growing baby. You do everything you can to keep them in the safety of the womb until they have the ability to thrive in the world. You'll get there.
These days, I am yearning for new adventures, but my inner voice is still nervous. I'll know when I'm ready if I'm patient, listen to my gut, and wait for my HP's sign that it's time.
Glad you are recovering well from your surgery!!
Alice
I'm no angel!
Join Date: May 2005
Location: tampa, fl
Posts: 6,728
I think having to go back to work will snap you out of it.
You have been through alot, made some major decisions in your life...then topped if off with your surgery, so, I think your current state of mind is quite normal, I wouldn't be too concerned. See what next week brings.
In the meantime, kick back and watch a good movie.
Hugs,
Dolly
You have been through alot, made some major decisions in your life...then topped if off with your surgery, so, I think your current state of mind is quite normal, I wouldn't be too concerned. See what next week brings.
In the meantime, kick back and watch a good movie.
Hugs,
Dolly
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