Why do alcoholics have to blame everyone and everything but themselves?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Somewhere cold and flat
Posts: 148
Originally Posted by ElegantlyWasted 
Thanks you for the post! Took me a while to realize that it also applies to many people who are not considered substance addicted and am still learning how to effectively deal with them when I have to. It's what goes on inside my own head that matters and I (everyone) have (has) a choice as to how the action of others affect(s) me (them).
Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Wild West, USA
Posts: 407
When I lived with my exah, it looked to me like that exactly was the core of his alcoholism-- not drinking in itself. He couldn't accept responsibility for his mistakes, and keep his self esteem intact... like, in his worldview, if he could avoid acknowledging that he was being a s*&^heel, then somehow that equaled not being one. Alcohol was a tool he used to keep the more aware part of himself quiet, but it wasn't the only one.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,294
Originally Posted by praiseHim
Why do alcoholics have to blame everyone and everything but themselves?
The focus is on the OTHER person.
CLMI
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: lincolnshire, england
Posts: 7
read all of the above. i dont have the answers. so wish i did. i used to be a normal 'social drinker' knew when to stop( could put my finger on that button!) and social events were fab and i could hold my head up after without shame of something id done, or been told id done. at some point approx 6 years ago that changed. i didnt plan to lose that stop button. no no1 poured alcohol down my throat, but it wasnt a decision i actaully made either. Summer peach said ignorance is bliss and whilst in denial the person with the problem doesnt have to face everyth crashing around them. well im not ignorant anymore, not in denial. but everyth is crashing down around me because i dont have that leaning post anymore. something to get me through the bad things (not that it did really) For member 'praiseHim', i didnt want to be selfish due to my mood swings, depression etc. i alw just wanted to be me. i am to blame, is my fault and am now dealing with it (1st meeting this eve)...........but it was never my intention to cause others unhappiness
Blu**ed Lines...A ClockWork SR
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: AZ
Posts: 2,529
Hmmmm...."to keep the more aware part of himself quiet"
To me you're on to something really, really big there.... Self torturing closeted perfectionists who hate the world (and themselves) because it's not perfect unite!
To me you're on to something really, really big there.... Self torturing closeted perfectionists who hate the world (and themselves) because it's not perfect unite!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 545
Originally Posted by bedbear
...but it was never my intention to cause others unhappiness
Being Silent so I can Hear
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 2,521
An eye opening moment for me:
It was morning, and I found the covers on the floor over on his side of the bed. I called him a cover hog (I was making the bed) and he denied hogging the covers, claiming that I shoved them off me and over him and off the bed during the night.
I should say, I've never shoved the covers off the bed when sleeping alone. Never.
It was morning, and I found the covers on the floor over on his side of the bed. I called him a cover hog (I was making the bed) and he denied hogging the covers, claiming that I shoved them off me and over him and off the bed during the night.
I should say, I've never shoved the covers off the bed when sleeping alone. Never.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
