Need advice
Climbing hills, flying down...
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: By the Sea
Posts: 565
Need advice
Until my previous account problems get solved (Trying2Fly), I'll be posting under this name (typical that the day these computer things happen is a day I really need you guys!).
So...I am feeling apprehensive and nervous for two reasons...
1.) I start a new job (a job I have really, really wanted!) on Friday, and I am quite nervous about beginning something new. I know this will be great once I get into a new routine, but I'm nervous because I have not started on a new career path in 8 years! (I was recently laid off from a previous job) Any advice for banishing new job nerves? I went through 2 interviews and weeks of waiting, and that didn't phase me, but suddenly I'm feeling like "why did they pick me???!!!! I can't do this!!!"
2.) I am feeling resentful / sad / upset by my parents (mom in particular)...my mom has refused to talk to me since I recently spelled out my boundaries re: AS. My mom is taking that a step further by refusing to talk to me about my new job, citing that she is still "angry" at me (for whatever she perceives I did "wrong"!) :wtf2
I know I shouldn't care, I should detach, I should let go, but it is hurtful sometimes that she is so invested in my sister and her problems that she does not seem to have any interest in her other childrens' lives. I feel rejected by her (maybe I shouldn't feel this way? I am 33...should it make a difference that I am an adult? Am I being too sensitive?) Anyone else experienced this? Plus...I just miss her. We are going through a tough patch right now, but sometimes I just miss her.
So...I am feeling apprehensive and nervous for two reasons...
1.) I start a new job (a job I have really, really wanted!) on Friday, and I am quite nervous about beginning something new. I know this will be great once I get into a new routine, but I'm nervous because I have not started on a new career path in 8 years! (I was recently laid off from a previous job) Any advice for banishing new job nerves? I went through 2 interviews and weeks of waiting, and that didn't phase me, but suddenly I'm feeling like "why did they pick me???!!!! I can't do this!!!"
2.) I am feeling resentful / sad / upset by my parents (mom in particular)...my mom has refused to talk to me since I recently spelled out my boundaries re: AS. My mom is taking that a step further by refusing to talk to me about my new job, citing that she is still "angry" at me (for whatever she perceives I did "wrong"!) :wtf2
I know I shouldn't care, I should detach, I should let go, but it is hurtful sometimes that she is so invested in my sister and her problems that she does not seem to have any interest in her other childrens' lives. I feel rejected by her (maybe I shouldn't feel this way? I am 33...should it make a difference that I am an adult? Am I being too sensitive?) Anyone else experienced this? Plus...I just miss her. We are going through a tough patch right now, but sometimes I just miss her.
As for the new job, I've yet to meet anyone (myself included) who wasn't nervous about starting a new job.
I was fortunate in my last job as I was volunteering in the health information department of my hospital, and they hired me after I had been there a few weeks, so I was already comfortable with the environment/people.
I've had a hard time keeping my chin up since I got screwed at that job, but lately I'm using a lot of positive self-talk while I'm job-hunting.
I just put in an application at the county health department, and I was already starting that crap talk of "I won't even get an interview, why would they hire me, blah blah blah!"
Tell yourself you're a fantastic employee and keep saying it until you believe it!
As for your mother? Seriously, there are times when I get off of the phone with my mother and feel like I'm 5 years old again.
She's never going to be the kind of mother that I want/need.
There are times I have gone completely no contact with her when she's in toxic mode.
When I read that your mother refuses to talk to you about your job because she's still angry, I thought of my mother. That's manipulation, and a classic move my mother uses variations of.
Maybe you just need a break from her for awhile?
Love that little girl inside of you whose needs aren't being met by her mother.
I have had to learn to do that.
For whatever it's worth, I think it's fantastic you're starting on a new career path. How exciting!
Look at it as a new chapter in your life.
:ghug3
I was fortunate in my last job as I was volunteering in the health information department of my hospital, and they hired me after I had been there a few weeks, so I was already comfortable with the environment/people.
I've had a hard time keeping my chin up since I got screwed at that job, but lately I'm using a lot of positive self-talk while I'm job-hunting.
I just put in an application at the county health department, and I was already starting that crap talk of "I won't even get an interview, why would they hire me, blah blah blah!"
Tell yourself you're a fantastic employee and keep saying it until you believe it!
As for your mother? Seriously, there are times when I get off of the phone with my mother and feel like I'm 5 years old again.
She's never going to be the kind of mother that I want/need.
There are times I have gone completely no contact with her when she's in toxic mode.
When I read that your mother refuses to talk to you about your job because she's still angry, I thought of my mother. That's manipulation, and a classic move my mother uses variations of.
Maybe you just need a break from her for awhile?
Love that little girl inside of you whose needs aren't being met by her mother.
I have had to learn to do that.
For whatever it's worth, I think it's fantastic you're starting on a new career path. How exciting!
Look at it as a new chapter in your life.
:ghug3
We don't get to choose our family members, and sometimes they just aren't capable of doing any better than they do.
I know a woman who regularly threatens to take her son out of her will when he doesn't knuckle under her control, and put his drug addict brother back IN the will. Crazy crazy stuff.
No good advice, just know that you've been heard
I know a woman who regularly threatens to take her son out of her will when he doesn't knuckle under her control, and put his drug addict brother back IN the will. Crazy crazy stuff.
No good advice, just know that you've been heard
Climbing hills, flying down...
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: By the Sea
Posts: 565
Thanks everyone...as usual, you all bring me back to a levelheaded state. I am feeling calmer about starting the new job tomorrow. I am excited about this opportunity and to take my skills in an entirely new direction.
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