Unexpected blessings
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Reality, NJ
Posts: 853
Unexpected blessings
I used to feel so sad that we never had kids and was worried because of my age. But with recovery, I am realizing how blessed I was to not have them yet. I babysat a toddler last night and it was so much work. I cant imagine doing that and having an AH.
Today is his birthday and he is visiting another state to meet his girlfriend's parents. I am not too sad about it. I am sad for him and his disease. I cant imagine the demons he fights. We arent divorced but he has moved on.
I am living my life. Trying to get out and keep busy. I pray our HPs take care of each of us.
But I dont miss living with him and starting to see how much life has to offer for me. I need to stop thinking about him and more about me. I can still have a great life.
Hugs
Lulu
Today is his birthday and he is visiting another state to meet his girlfriend's parents. I am not too sad about it. I am sad for him and his disease. I cant imagine the demons he fights. We arent divorced but he has moved on.
I am living my life. Trying to get out and keep busy. I pray our HPs take care of each of us.
But I dont miss living with him and starting to see how much life has to offer for me. I need to stop thinking about him and more about me. I can still have a great life.
Hugs
Lulu
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Somewhere, our planet
Posts: 174
Originally Posted by lulu1974 
But I dont miss living with him and starting to see how much life has to offer for me. I need to stop thinking about him and more about me. I can still have a great life.
Exactly! And it sounds like you're hashing it out with yourself and moving in the right direction. Hugs to you and to your future--you are doing great!
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Reality, NJ
Posts: 853
Its so amazing how I got so enmeshed on my AH's life and lost so much of me. I wish him well and hope he gets himself together. Last I heard he was heading to rehab for the 3rd time. Now I need the courage to serve him the divorce papers. Whatever it takes. I love him but I feel the person I love is dead now. Not sure he is coming back. But I know I am coming back.
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Join Date: Feb 2010
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Originally Posted by Kassie2
The next question (and it is one I have been asking myself) is when you get your life back the way you want - will you still want to be your husband.
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Join Date: May 2008
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Going into rehab/recovery often changes very little if anything. it is not the 'Spin Dry' and there are no guarantees. Few succeed remaining sober, that's the bottom line. I say that knowledge should set you up well to begin mapping out your plan for a new exciting life for yourself, don't waste another minute. I think you said you were in your 30's...time flies and this ain't no dress rehearsal.
You mention often in your posts that you hope his HP will look after him and he gets better. Put all that hope into your life and happiness and leave the rest to the x's HP.
You mention often in your posts that you hope his HP will look after him and he gets better. Put all that hope into your life and happiness and leave the rest to the x's HP.
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