Call Me a Total Idiot
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 11
Call Me a Total Idiot
Hi all...My name is Stephanie. I am new to the message boards, but not to addiction. My husband is an alcoholic. A year ago, I started going to alanon, and left him. ....A few months later, he resurfaced with promises of wanting to stay sober...So, of course I let him move back home. Things were wonderful for a while...He was kind, loving and very caring. The last couple of weeks, he has changed...Started staying out all night...being mean...Being a complete arrogant jerk. Saying HE shouldn't have come back to ME!!!!!!
Tonight I was driving our five year old son home from a tee ball game...Which my husband didn't go to because he said he had to work late...Anyway, we pass by the bar on the way home, and our son saw his fathers car at the bar. If I would have even thought he'd be there, I wouldn't have taken that route.
Now...It's been a couple of hours and I feel completely defeated. This hurts so deeply...I like to think I'm a strong person..And I will do whatever I need to. But tonight I just need a little support. Why is he at the bar? Why isn't he home with us? I hate this so much.. I could really use some support right now....
Tonight I was driving our five year old son home from a tee ball game...Which my husband didn't go to because he said he had to work late...Anyway, we pass by the bar on the way home, and our son saw his fathers car at the bar. If I would have even thought he'd be there, I wouldn't have taken that route.
Now...It's been a couple of hours and I feel completely defeated. This hurts so deeply...I like to think I'm a strong person..And I will do whatever I need to. But tonight I just need a little support. Why is he at the bar? Why isn't he home with us? I hate this so much.. I could really use some support right now....
peaceful seabird
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: floating
Posts: 4,822
Welcome to the Sober Recovery Family!
You will find lots of information and support for yourself here. I recommend reading in the permanent (sticky) posts at the top of this forum for wisdom and to read some of our stories.
I am sorry that your AH has fallen back into old behaviors. Remember the three C's of addiction:
You didn't cause this
You can't control this
You won't cure this
Are you still active in your Alanon group? Pick up the phone and call someone if you feel the need to speak to someone immediately about your frustrations.
You can always vent your frustrations here, we understand!
You will find lots of information and support for yourself here. I recommend reading in the permanent (sticky) posts at the top of this forum for wisdom and to read some of our stories.
I am sorry that your AH has fallen back into old behaviors. Remember the three C's of addiction:
You didn't cause this
You can't control this
You won't cure this
Are you still active in your Alanon group? Pick up the phone and call someone if you feel the need to speak to someone immediately about your frustrations.
You can always vent your frustrations here, we understand!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Somewhere, our planet
Posts: 174
Keep posting when you need to...we all understand how you feel. It is totally frustrating, isn't it. I re-read a lot of the stickies at the top of the forum today and found them tremendously helpful. Hugs.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Wizard Land Downunder
Posts: 2,615
I am so sorry that you had this in your face today, but as you said..the past couple of weeks he's been staying out all night, being mean, and an arrogant jerk. Saying HE shouldn't have come back to you.
Honey when these changes appear, you can almost smell the booze suckering them in to another round of drinks.
He is right when he says he shouldn't have come back to you, because he was not ready or strong enough, and may never be.
If you don't want this to keep on, it looks like it goes back to where you were before he begged to come back, and let him go elsewhere to muck up, while you re-arrange your life around you and your young son, without the pain and hassle of a drunken jerk around you.
I don't know whether you have kept up going to Alanon, if so get all the support you can til next meeting, if not, then I am sure you still have numbers of members to call on. It won't worry them if you have been gone a while, as all they hear is one of them in pain and needed a hand.
I will keep you in my thoughts and my prayers.
God bless
Honey when these changes appear, you can almost smell the booze suckering them in to another round of drinks.
He is right when he says he shouldn't have come back to you, because he was not ready or strong enough, and may never be.
If you don't want this to keep on, it looks like it goes back to where you were before he begged to come back, and let him go elsewhere to muck up, while you re-arrange your life around you and your young son, without the pain and hassle of a drunken jerk around you.
I don't know whether you have kept up going to Alanon, if so get all the support you can til next meeting, if not, then I am sure you still have numbers of members to call on. It won't worry them if you have been gone a while, as all they hear is one of them in pain and needed a hand.
I will keep you in my thoughts and my prayers.
God bless
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