barb dwyer

By now everyone knows my stories...

I've lived a rough rough life.
I make no excuses for it
other than being embarasses
about being so very hard to teach.

The thing about no contact -

When I went no contact with my own children....
I didn't have the knowledge and wisdom I have now.

IT WAS DURING THAT TIME THAT I GAINED THAT.

I worked my self beyond my limits
in every aspect
to be a better person.
until 'a series of unfortunate events'
dissolved my faith.

But even in the depths of my drinking
my hopelessness
and my despair

I'd gone no contact with my own kids.
That was something I could never explain to a bar full of drunks
so I never once tried.

But in my own heart...
in doing that -

ALL children...
because my responsibility.
ALL women...
became someone's daughter.
ALL MEN...
became someone's son.

I became DUTY BOUND
to help where I could.

To listen
when they needed an ear.
To drive
when they needed a ride.
To be present-
when they were too afraid to be alone.

I think some fear 'no contact'

because it represents this black void of nonexistance.

It's not.

It's the POTENTIALITY
of self awareness.
self-discovery
self-advancement.


But you have to know in your heart
that it's the RIGHT thing to do.

And then you have to do it
and not once EVER look back.

The moment you close that door -
you have to commit
to proceeding to the next right thing.

Or it will be the living hell
you fear it will be.

I did it.
I lived.
I am more than I was because of it.

Make that your own intention.

ok. thanks. I needed to get that out.

barb dwyer

It was my own living prayer
that if my own son
needed as much -

someone would do as much for him/them wherever they were...