lulu1974

still in a funk but I tried to go shopping. I did make it to my face to face meeting and that helped. I am being kind to myself and being gentle. I think I am feeling a bunch of bad stuff and maybe I need to in order to move on. But boy is it intense. I am going to keep on truckin though. somehow.

Summerpeach

going out when you're in emotional pain is tough. It's like pulling a 100 lb bar of cement with you.
If you can't go out, do things at home to nurture yourself like a bath, make a nice supper, read a book, take a walk and listen to some great music.

Healing takes time

lulu1974

OMG. that was the feeling exactly. I walked around the store twice but didnt really see anything and then I felt like crying so I left. Thanks for your suggestion and understanding.

wanting

Yeah, it's tough getting out of the house. I remember when XH and I first split up, I'd go out and want to cry seeing happy families. I'd see couples together and make myself crazy wondering if XH and the OW were frolicking around like that. And I'd feel fat and ugly and just generally uncomfortable in my own skin. By the time this all happened, I didn't even know what I enjoyed doing anymore. After a while, being a single mother made going out alone more enjoyable. Even just going to the grocery store alone is a treat. I have started to figure out what I like doing, what I like wearing, so many things I had lost over the years. I've rekindled a lot of my old interests that had taken a backseat during my marriage, and am even picking up some new interests. So, I guess I'm trying to say, it's hard at first, but after a while, getting to know yourself is fun! It's like you're dating yourself.

barb dwyer

Lulu -

an idea ... something I've done -
rent a movie and have someone over.

Someone you know well enough that you don't HAVE to talk.

Something to think of as well -

I was DESPERATE for company in early recovery
having lost ALL firends to alcoholism...

I took a four part class
and got certified to tutor for the MT Literacy Council.
I volunteered.
It got me out of the house
was mildy social
(i doubt I could have handled more than it wasat the time)

and I helped others.

Getting out is one thing.
But if we can get out of ourselves at the same time -

free bonus.

just a thought.

HumbleBee

I learned that there's a big difference between isolating and insulating and have gone from keeping myself holed up inside doing nothing to opening up the curtains and windows, turning on the music and dancing while I vaccuum or paint or cook.

Any interest in photography? Even getting outside with a disposable camera is a great way for exercise, creativity, framing them afterwards or sharing them online - lots cheaper than shopping. lol.

It does take time to get to know ourselves. I've also learned from my good, happy-couple friends, that what I thought I was seeing on the outside was not necessarily as it appeared to be.

Keep dating yourself! I'm a cheap date and that's ok. hahaha

wicked

Me too HumbleBee! And, I am so easily amused. I think I am hilarious.

Jadmack25

Dating yourself is smart. You spend time with someone on your wavelength, enjoy the same things, can do, say and spend what you like without complaints, and you don't have to either go search the bar for, or get dumped by, a scungy drunk.

Sounds good to me.