lulu1974

Oh yes. 44 lbs in 3 years. I have lost 21 in the last 2 months. It melted off! lol

isitme

I lost 40 lbs in back in the summer time.. but then things got bad again. I've gained 20lb since October.. Ugh.

Bucyn

I've noticed myself holding my breath too, and the hunched shoulders. I tell myself, relax, it's safe now, you don't have to be on alert, relax, relax, relax...

The thing is: I never expected or needed my XAH to make me happy. I was/am pretty happy on my own. All I asked was that he not create unhappiness. That was too much to ask for.

Well...now he gets to create unhappiness for the people he really 'loves': ie, mommy and his kids and his brother. Lucky them.

isitme

I can so relate to this.. In fact I could make a laundry list of the thing I actually wanted him to do, but simply asked for one. To stop accusing me to infidelity or makeing snide remarks about me possibly cheating or having people over. In reality this is the least of our problems, but I thought I would start small. He promised and broke it with in two days.

He used to alway verbally attack me for being "too trusting of others" well I'm sure he's cured me of that fault. I can't wait until it's all over.. and I CAN BREATHE.. thank Bucyn... you seem to have much wisdom.

lulu1974

Mine has his cousin and his family..however I started getting a gut feeling the wife of the cousin isnt thrilled with their newly acquired family member..Her husband which is his cousin used to be a coke head and quit cold turkey so she has two addicts now..I just had that gut feeling things arent all that happy over there..And it does not matter what he is doing but I was just happy that I am conscious of what is going on and have gut feelings and stuff. Go me! I have my instincts back!

nodaybut2day

Constant migraines that lasted for days, sometimes weeks...

Feeling anxious and aggressive whenever we went grocery shopping (he'd overspend and find a way to put his beer in the shopping cart), or whenever I had to drive to the liquor store or to the native reservation for contraband cigarettes.

In the last few months, I lost all the extra pregnancy weight I had gained (50lbs) and then another 10 lbs from being so stressed.

Lack of sleep.

Lack of appetite.

DARK circles under my eyes.

Ugh...what a mess I was!

freefalling

Severe hairloss , sinusitis, lower back pain, fingers going numb, panic attacks, depression, high blood pressure ,weight gain ,facial joint pains because of teeth grinding,dark circles under eyes , puffy eyes due to crying too much.

Everything back to normal now. Still have to lose a bit of weight and depression and anxiety under control. Hope to stop antidepressant one of these days.

Carol Star

Yes. I lost 30lbs. had the eye twitch, grinded my teeth, lost hair, couldn't sleep, low libido, back pain......Now 3 yrs. post divorce I am symptom free!

lulu1974

OMG.. I feel like you went into my mind and wrote this. My itchiness is so much better after I saw about 5 doctors and couldnt figure out what it was. they told me i was allergic to dust so i would clean all the time yet it never helped. my neighbor once commented "gee, you surre like to vacuum". lol.
Free at last. Thank God I am free at last!

spinner

Interesting! I am going to the allergy doctor on Thursday for a mysterious itch. I also have migaines and panic attacks. Had them before I met my A though so I can't really blame them on him though

Spinner

SheCanRun

Had no idea so many of us out there had the eye twitch thing going on. It's amazing how your body reacts in different ways to stress.

wicked

:ghug3

We should start of club of eye twitchers!
Reformed of course.
Now, I can recognize one of my own anywhere!
Okay, i think i need to go to bed now.
getting silly. hehehehe

tigger11

Eye twitching, teeth clenching, lower back aches, weight gain... yup, I've had all of these. Still have some of them and hope they go away after the divorce is finally over. I also remember, with both AH's having trouble breathing when I went to bed. I'd get into bed, get in my comfy side position, and not be able to get enough air. Couldn't tell you why, but now that I've read this thread, that had to be it. Panic attacks at night in bed with Alcoholic spouse who might, with stinky, drunken yuckiness, want me to be intimate.

This thread is a real eye opener.

I don't have trouble breathing at night any more in my own bed that I bought, all alone... well with my doggie and kitty who want nothing and give so much. The teeth clenching is still bad. But I've lost quite a bit of weight without even trying. Still lots to go, though. The eye lid twitching is gone, lower back pain is a little less.

Wow, who knew?

theuncertainty

O_M_G. I just found this thread because Leise posted a link to it for MMkM. I did not even consider that several of my physical symptoms were related to the stress of living with abusive STBXAH. Weight gain, depression, hair loss, yep, I understood that was related to the stress of dealing with him. I did not, however, attribute the following to stress:

• the twitchy-eye
• the unconscious scratching of my left arm or throat
• having my back 'go out' and being unable to move for the pain for days
• my hands going numb right after waking up and not feeling 'right' until I got to work
• dark circles under my eyes - Seems silly to not connect that one because he'd wake me up between 1 and 5 AM with drunken pawing and a sh-tty attitude. What a romantic combination. - or by just literally falling onto the bed and passing back out.
• being tired all the time
• nightmares

I'm almost certain the panic attacks, massive nauseau and resulting weight loss didn't start until I admitted that DV and IPSA was a problem in our relationship. I'm sure the list will grow as I go back and work through everything. I was actually incredibly freaked out when the panic attacks and nausea got worse right after starting counseling, but they - and other symptoms - are slowly getting better. The hand numbness, 'bad' back and eye twitch stopped right after DS and I moved into our own place. Wow!

pixilation

Oh wow..I figured it was stress causing my insomnia, etc, but I had no idea it was this common, and the cause of it. Thank you all!

MMkM

What a relief to find this post going on. I actually posted a question of a reference to an older thread on this topic. Got great feedback on that.

I was kinda in freak out mode. Getting near Holidays and so stressed over the no family thing from it all falling apart, fighting, NC for me.

My skin (rashes) and some hair falling out was alarming me and I had remembered from reading/lurking here that others had mentioned this.

Thank you for all feedback on this as we help each other understand what we might go through and how we really fix it.

learning2luvme

I had the eye twitching from hell too! I hated it..i was afraid someone would notice and freak out...lol!

I was stressed out ALL the time never knowing what was going to happen one minute to the next. My back ACHED so badly...and i had tension headaches. I bet when people saw us together...he was all happy and smiling..but i was the one carrying all the hurt and stress...im sure it was noticable by others. I tried to laugh and smile..but DAM...it took some effort to do so. Some probbly thought...poor guy...he needs to find someone else...that girl looks like shes on something!
Hell i was on something...i was on a trip called delusions are us...or something like that. Thank god...reality set in. I have so much peace now! No more eye twitching...no more tension headaches..no more trying to get his heavy azz in the bed!!! No more waking up to a waterbed. Hell...if i had wanted a waterbed...i woulda bought one!!!
No more crying over hurtful angry words spoken from an hurtful angry man!

No more being( temptation )to drink what he had left over after he passed out...because i had nothing to band aid the pain i was in!

No more worrying about what kind of mood will he be in when he gets home!

No more hoping that tommorow might be the day he finally wakes up and realizes that hes done with drinking...and that hes sorry for all the pain he had caused me!

Took a long time to get here.....but oohh the peace i have now!! I wouldnt trade it for ANYTHING! I wake up excited about what this day might bring. I smile alot more..cry so much less. I take care of me...i lost 210 pounds(yep..i think thats what he weighted)..thats the best feeling in the world. And one more thing...next time see someones eyes twitching....im gonna scream...RUN DONT WALK...he just aint worth it!!!

cinnamngirl

ever since i realized i did not want to be with my AB any more (which was about 2 years ago) i have had back pain, shoulder pain, some weird pain in the area of the liver (top right abdomen - all fine according to doctors though), also anxiety and panic attacks, an eczema on my scalp which responds to no treatment whatsoever, also lack of sleep when he is drinking, along with the fact that, looking in the mirror, i think i have aged about 10 years in those last 2 years.
unfortunately knowing that someone is not right for you doesn't automatically give you the power to finish the relationship. we are still living together but after several half-attemps on my behalf to make him move out i have finally had the courage to tell him and really tell him that this relationship is going nowhere.
so he will be moving out in a few weeks' time, and i only hope it all goes well.
i have been suspecting that all these physical things are all psychosomatic and the effect of his drinking. so i hope they will all disappear when i am finally free of his demons.

Hadassah

I broke out all over with hives a week before we met for mediation, and they didn't all go away until about a week after. I also grind my teeth and catch myself with me jaw clenched.
I also have nightmares concerning being assaulted by exah (sexually).
My poor 17 yr dd has started with migraines and is noticing that her hair is falling out. I am praying that as time goes by we will start to feel peace again.H

tryintosmile

Thank you for this post. I am crying as I read it. I don't cry much because I'm so stressed all the time and crying for me has always been a stress reliever. Obviously, I haven't been very good at relieving my stress or I would have made myself cry - regardless of whether I got yelled at for it or not.

I get an occasional eye twitch, but I'm on anti-anxiety medication so that likely prevents some of it. It doesn't take away the pain though. I hurt from head to toe - constantly. I do clench my teeth so hard it hurts and wakes me up. I can't get to sleep until late and wake up way to early. I'm hypervigilant all the time, waiting for the next raging session to come. I've lost all of my armpit hair (which is directly related to adrenal exhaustion) and while some people here would have been much happier to lose that, than the hair on their head, I don't feel any better about it.

Part of the reason I'm crying is because I can feel all of your pain so well and truly identify with it. The other part is because I'M STILL IN IT - and so many of you have left and are talking about the past. I wish I were too ...