harleyd101

Hi all, yesterday was an eye-opener for me...my day started at 8:00 a.m., and I woke up with a pain in my side. It moved around to my back within a half hour, and I was throwing up, and I couldn't walk. Most of you know that my EXABF lives three houses down from me, and I was scared and terrified because I was in so much pain, and I was home alone. But I couldn't call him because he's been drunk for the past six weeks, we haven't spoken because I blocked his number. I ended off calling 911, and was taken to emergency (never ever had to do that in my life) and I was so scared and in so much pain, all I could do was cry. I got to the ER, and within MINUTES, two friends from AA were there, and within 5 minutes, my whole family was there. I only called my best friend. Long story short, I have kidney stones, and the pain was just horrible. Never felt anything like that in my life.

As I was laying on that gurny, I realized something....I have love all around me, everywhere. My sister came right in, and we haven't gotten a long in about six months, and we used to be best friends. After all was said and done, she came over after I was released, made me soup, and stayed with me and took care of me and the kids. We talked, A LOT! I got my sister back!!! After we got home, she told me that the ex had seen the fire department here and the EMS, and was blowing up the phones of everyone in my family, crying, yada yada yada. Said he wanted to be at the hospital with me, but that he couldn't (he was drunk as a skunk, 10:00 a.m. on Sunday morning). I realized at that moment that he has NEVER been there for me, and I took him countless times to the hospital. Thinking about this, I got a feeling of peace that came over me, because my whole family and my friends came home, got my prescriptions filled, and stayed with me while I slept. So much love, and it's funny when I focus on the love I don't have, I miss the love that's here for me right now. I have given my love to a man that could never love me, and mourning it while I never fully realized how much love is all around me, every day. So I believe that something good can come from something bad. Today I feel very blessed!

stella27

Isn't it wonderful when you get to see your loved ones in action? It makes you feel very lucky. I hope you're feeling better.

waiting801

Sorry to hear about your scary situation but after its all said and done it always comes back to the saying " Who is going to be there for you when you need them"? I am glad to hear there were people to show you they REALLY CARE ABOUT YOU... hold those people close and dont let go... best of luck to you and hugs <3

LucyA

Glad you realised about the love you have around you, but what a way to do it! Kidney stones are the most painful thing I ever had, I'd rather give bith to another ten pounder than go through that again!

Hope you're feeling better now x

Pelican

Gold

Ouch. Hope you are feeling better and Yay to knowing who will be there for you.

coffeedrinker

super-duper cool

barb dwyer

Er... you're okay now, though?

I LOVED this:

BOOyahkahsha !!!!

*place purple lightning bolt here*

That realization -
was a HUGE turning point for me.
HUGE.

Kidney Stones become a major realization! WooHOO!

harleyd101

Thanks all for your support, and the darn stone still hasn't passed. It's been excruciating (sp) and I have had the love and support continue as I rest a home, waiting to pee this thing out!! Trying to keep my head up, the pain is just unbearable at times!!

MaryGoRound

I can so relate to this. Luckily mine was in a lot less physical way. I posted a generic status on Facebook that was saying I was really having a hard time and not sure if I was doing the right thing (meaning going no contact, but i left out details). The reaction was tremendous. I got calls, text messages, waited on, concerned wall posts...All of a sudden I was hearing from people I had lost touch with b.c I was so focused on contacting people about my A's problems.

So amazing to realize that you have love surrounding you right? Because you're a good person. A loving person that deserves to have that support system. You're not a manipulative liar...who doesn't even realize its his own fault there is no one there for him anymore. You don't burn bridges.

I hope you're feeling better( those hurt like a moefoe) and basking in the love that you have been blessed to be reminded of, as I am. Enjoy.

kelsh

Hi harley,

When I was in the hospital detoxing from alcohol 21 years ago, I counted 15 people that had been to see me & staff would talk to me about the wonderful decision I had made to quit drinking. They all seemed so sincere & had a lot of faith in me. more than I had in myself at that time.

I worked very hard to stay sober & went to AA every evening for a solid year. I was going to work the program for me this time and it has worked. I still get help for my depression & take medication responsibly for it with follow up visits to my doc and blood draws to check levels of my meds.

Life has had some tragic events but I have learned through my counseling to work on my emotional thoughts & feelings daily to keep myself on track.

My alcoholism was a self medicating type the last four years of my drinking every single day after work. I did not get into the drug scene but my Brother did and has lost most everything due to his alcoholism & drug use. He quit last October & his detox was worse than he ever thought it would be.

I feel so inspired by all the people that share here. We have something special about us that makes us able to communicate honestly as we are able to depending on where we are in our recovery. I still use the Serenity Prayer every day & know I am only one drink away from a certain death.

kelsh

Jadmack25

Have heard from lots of women who would rather have had 10plus pounder babies, than go thru this.

Sorry Harley, I just cannot help myself. Please forgive me, but I have to say,

This too....will pass!!

God bless

harleyd101

Jadmack, you are toooo funny!!!! Thanks for the laugh, as usual!!! By the way, I don't know where you find all those funny pictures that you post, but they make me laugh out loud!!!!

Learn2Live

Maybe I'm just moody today but reading your post has almost made me cry. I'm choked up about what you are going through, remembering how many times I wanted so badly for the other person to "love me enough" to treat me with the care and love and kindness that I believe I need from a significant other.

I don't recall any of my previous significant others ever meeting that expectation or want fully. I really don't know where that want comes from, either. Am I just being a baby? Or do other people think it is "normal" to want your spouse or significant other to take care of you when you are sick? Or just be kind and dote a little on you?

I wonder too, is what I'm thinking about myself what you are talking about in your post? That even though there are so many other people who obviously love you and care about you, and whose behavior MATCHES those feelings, that it still matters that that ex-spouse person never did? Sorry if I'm reading into your post too much; I think my feelings are just overwhelming my thoughts, and confusing me, today.

P.S. My CURRENT significant other is VERY loving, kind and attentive; that is why I used the term "previous" significant other