veracious

I have left and he is still texting me with his usual bs and trying to get me back. I am not falling for it this time but i now feel completely lost! What do i do now??? How do i handle him or should i just not respond to him? I have told him that he needs to get help but i didnt know what else to say.

nodaybut2day

If you have no kids with this person, then go no contact! If you must, tell him you won't be speaking to him for a while because you need some space. Then cut all lines of communication. Delete his number. Screen his calls. Forward all his emails to the trash bin.

If I had the luxury of doing this, I'm jump at it.

It's time to focus on you. If he wants to recover, he'll do it himself.

veracious

Yeah he is trying anything and everything to get me to come home. I will take your advice and tell him that i cant talk to him that i need space. I think this will be good for both of us. He needs to want to change for himself. If he choses not to atleast i have a head start into getting my life together for myself and my kids. I guess the only issue now is my stuff is still at his place. I dont even want to go get it at this point. I dont feel strong enough to face him in person. I dont want to fall for his bs cause i know he will try to pull anything to get me under his control again.

nodaybut2day

See, you're already recognizing that your weakness is HIM, so do what needs to be done to prevent yourself from giving into your weakness. You already know how to do this!

If you were on a diet and knew your weakness was chocolate, you'd do everything in your power to stay the heck away from anything remotely chocolate all the while working out and eating healthy, so you could achieve your goals. It would be super hard at first, but eventually, you'd find ways to cope, to distract yourself, and before you knew it, you'd be going days on end without struggling to reach for chocolate.

As for your stuff, you're right. Forget it for now. Or if you really need it at some point, send someone you trust to get it for you.

In the meantime, focus on you and your children. How are you sleeping? How are you eating? Try distracting yourself with a new hobby: learn to knit, cook a new dish, go out with friends for coffee, rent an entire season of a good tv show, take a class, meditate, journal, run around nekkid at home if it makes you happy! It's time for YOU!