Q about AH's recovery process
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Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: where I need to be
Posts: 157
Q about AH's recovery process
Hi,
I have a question about recovery. My husband has been sober and active in AA for seven months. During the early months of his recovery, I saw significant changes in him, nothing short of what I would call a miracle.
I was seriously considering divorce, but wanted to give ME the gift of time before making that decision. He worked hard on his recovery and I've been working hard on mine. Two months ago, I began to feel something for him, and agreed to begin a reconciliation....slowly.
We both continued our own healing process, and began to see a Christian marriage counselor together. For the most part, AH was respectful of my boundaries and attentive to my needs regarding this process.
Now, it seems that his focus is back on his needs, desires, wants. He appears to be somewhat obessed with forcing our relationship to where he wants it.
I'd appreciate any insight or any feedback that anyone can provide.
Thanks
I have a question about recovery. My husband has been sober and active in AA for seven months. During the early months of his recovery, I saw significant changes in him, nothing short of what I would call a miracle.
I was seriously considering divorce, but wanted to give ME the gift of time before making that decision. He worked hard on his recovery and I've been working hard on mine. Two months ago, I began to feel something for him, and agreed to begin a reconciliation....slowly.
We both continued our own healing process, and began to see a Christian marriage counselor together. For the most part, AH was respectful of my boundaries and attentive to my needs regarding this process.
Now, it seems that his focus is back on his needs, desires, wants. He appears to be somewhat obessed with forcing our relationship to where he wants it.
I'd appreciate any insight or any feedback that anyone can provide.
Thanks
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Join Date: Mar 2002
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Sarah
I don't have any words of wisdom for you but I would say, to keep your relationship where you feel comfortable. Don't rush anything and talk to him about how you don't like feeling pushed into something you aren't comfortable with.
I hope things work out.
Many hugs,
Debbie
I don't have any words of wisdom for you but I would say, to keep your relationship where you feel comfortable. Don't rush anything and talk to him about how you don't like feeling pushed into something you aren't comfortable with.
I hope things work out.
Many hugs,
Debbie
Learning to love life...
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 529
Hi Sarah,
Considering that you were almost willing to walk away from the marriage, don't hold back now... Tell him how you feel HONESTLY. If you're anything like me, you can slip back into your "codie" ways without really knowing it...
Meg
Considering that you were almost willing to walk away from the marriage, don't hold back now... Tell him how you feel HONESTLY. If you're anything like me, you can slip back into your "codie" ways without really knowing it...
Meg
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: where I need to be
Posts: 157
Thanks for your replies and support. I DO need to be honest. It's just so easy to get sucked back into the codie behavior~~~complying to avoid his reaction and to keep peace. And *Kaa* still has a way of convincing me the sky is green, but only because I allow him to.
We have a counseling session this afternoon. I'm going to take some time to write out my thoughts and feelings before our appointment.
We have a counseling session this afternoon. I'm going to take some time to write out my thoughts and feelings before our appointment.
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