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Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Missouri
Posts: 673
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Hello SR Family,
What an odd adventure today turned out to be... the order of protection was served yesterday. Computer geek that I THOUGHT I was, I sat there hitting enter/return on the wrong freekin' tab of the "did he get served with the Order of Protection yet" website. Got bored at lunch time, and went browsing around the web site, and found an ambiguous entry that implied that perhaps he had... yesterday. So called the court house, and sure enough he had. Yesterday! So I texted and emailed a bunch of people who are keeping track of me, and left work. Bought ammo for my glock on the way home. Got home, opened the garage door. THERE WAS A CAR THERE! Backed quickly up, turned 'round, went a few blocks up the street, and called the cops. Cop guy came, took the OP paperwork, and left me there waiting. 10 minutes later, another cop came and told me that STBXAH had been taken into custody. Whoa, what? Apparently the cop had knocked on the door, cuffed him because he was in violation of the OP and packed him into the back of the squad car. Holy Toledo! So I reluctantly followed #2 cop home. The two cars stayed in the cul de sac a LONG time, finally cop #2 came back to the door and said STBXAH in squad car wanted his copy of the OP, and his cell phone. Feeling a tad magnanimous, I gave him the cell charger, too.
So, now I'm home. STBXAH is sitting in jail for 12 hours. Which means they'll let him out at about 3am tomorrow morning. No idea how he's going to get from police station to where ever the h#$# he's going to next, but I suspect he'll try to come back to the house and get his car. He'd dam@ well better get a police escort to do that. But I'm guessing he won't. What the h^%$, he's already blown his chances of winning the permanent OP to bits.
So, he had taken all my pictures off the walls. Very odd since he didn't do ANYTHING else. The same laundry that I'd left in the dryer 2+ weeks ago was still there, no dishes used or washed, nothing else moved. The guy must have been drinking himself into oblivion every day. Not surprising since he's been doing that for 2 years, anyway, more or less, and probably way more.
So, I'm doing laundry, dishwasher, cleaning up, had my sons (ages 16 and 20) over for dinner, throwing his stuff in boxes and making a wall of boxes around the new Toyota sports car he has in the garage that he bought by selling MY motorcycle, HIS is still in the garage. Ggrrrrrr.
I had the locks changed as soon as I got home. The stupid gun that's tucked in my pants keeps falling down INTO my jeans since I've lost weight. IF I sleep at all tonight, it'll be on the couch which backs up to the wall of the garage so I'll hear the garage door open if he comes back. I called the neighbor and asked her to keep an eye out for trouble and call 911 immediately if she sees anything out of the ordinary.
Tomorrow I'll figure out the garage door, change the code, change the openers. I'll put a chain and lock around the back yard fence gate.
My brother (lives in Oregon) and sister (lives in NY) take turns calling me to make sure I'm okay, and I'm under strict orders to answer the phone, or they'll call the cops. LOL!
Oh wait, he did do something. He got cable TV hooked up. Go figure.
Love and Hugs!
Tigg
:praying for my Angel
What an odd adventure today turned out to be... the order of protection was served yesterday. Computer geek that I THOUGHT I was, I sat there hitting enter/return on the wrong freekin' tab of the "did he get served with the Order of Protection yet" website. Got bored at lunch time, and went browsing around the web site, and found an ambiguous entry that implied that perhaps he had... yesterday. So called the court house, and sure enough he had. Yesterday! So I texted and emailed a bunch of people who are keeping track of me, and left work. Bought ammo for my glock on the way home. Got home, opened the garage door. THERE WAS A CAR THERE! Backed quickly up, turned 'round, went a few blocks up the street, and called the cops. Cop guy came, took the OP paperwork, and left me there waiting. 10 minutes later, another cop came and told me that STBXAH had been taken into custody. Whoa, what? Apparently the cop had knocked on the door, cuffed him because he was in violation of the OP and packed him into the back of the squad car. Holy Toledo! So I reluctantly followed #2 cop home. The two cars stayed in the cul de sac a LONG time, finally cop #2 came back to the door and said STBXAH in squad car wanted his copy of the OP, and his cell phone. Feeling a tad magnanimous, I gave him the cell charger, too.
So, now I'm home. STBXAH is sitting in jail for 12 hours. Which means they'll let him out at about 3am tomorrow morning. No idea how he's going to get from police station to where ever the h#$# he's going to next, but I suspect he'll try to come back to the house and get his car. He'd dam@ well better get a police escort to do that. But I'm guessing he won't. What the h^%$, he's already blown his chances of winning the permanent OP to bits.
So, he had taken all my pictures off the walls. Very odd since he didn't do ANYTHING else. The same laundry that I'd left in the dryer 2+ weeks ago was still there, no dishes used or washed, nothing else moved. The guy must have been drinking himself into oblivion every day. Not surprising since he's been doing that for 2 years, anyway, more or less, and probably way more.
So, I'm doing laundry, dishwasher, cleaning up, had my sons (ages 16 and 20) over for dinner, throwing his stuff in boxes and making a wall of boxes around the new Toyota sports car he has in the garage that he bought by selling MY motorcycle, HIS is still in the garage. Ggrrrrrr.
I had the locks changed as soon as I got home. The stupid gun that's tucked in my pants keeps falling down INTO my jeans since I've lost weight. IF I sleep at all tonight, it'll be on the couch which backs up to the wall of the garage so I'll hear the garage door open if he comes back. I called the neighbor and asked her to keep an eye out for trouble and call 911 immediately if she sees anything out of the ordinary.
Tomorrow I'll figure out the garage door, change the code, change the openers. I'll put a chain and lock around the back yard fence gate.
My brother (lives in Oregon) and sister (lives in NY) take turns calling me to make sure I'm okay, and I'm under strict orders to answer the phone, or they'll call the cops. LOL!
Oh wait, he did do something. He got cable TV hooked up. Go figure.
Love and Hugs!
Tigg
:praying for my Angel
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Wizard Land Downunder
Posts: 2,615
Oh boy! What a "welcome home" for you, and a nice little surprise for him.
Thank God he was too out of it to do damage to property. What sort of priorities does it show, by not eating, not doing laundry, nothing but drinking, moving pictures and getting cable tv connected, tell you? Alcohol really does give some people that feeling that they are bullet proof, and there is no cost for their actions.
Now you have got thru that difficult shelter time, been lifted up by your friend taking you in and finally you are home, even if it is defended like your Fort Knox.
I hope you get a good sound sleep tonight, and that this is the beginning of your new and wonderful Alkie free life.
God bless
To thine own self be true.
Join Date: May 2009
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 5,924
Bought ammo for my glock on the way home... The stupid gun that's tucked in my pants keeps falling down INTO my jeans since I've lost weight...by selling MY motorcycle....Ggrrrrrr
PLEASE! If you are going to be carrying that gun around with you go buy a holster! You are going to shoot yourself or someone else. Please don't forget to do this. So many people get shot by accident! Oh, and do you have a permit to carry it outside your home? I don't want you getting arrested either :O)
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Land of Cotton
Posts: 3,433
WOW, what a story, Tigger!!
Since he asked for his copy of the OP, makes me think he didn't even bother to read the OP when he was served! WTH??? Did he take like all your artwork down off the walls or just photographs or what? That's so weird!
Is this his first trip to jail or has he had the pleasure before?
OMG, so glad you are home for Thanksgiving! What a month this has been for you!! (((HUGS))))
Since he asked for his copy of the OP, makes me think he didn't even bother to read the OP when he was served! WTH??? Did he take like all your artwork down off the walls or just photographs or what? That's so weird!
Is this his first trip to jail or has he had the pleasure before?
OMG, so glad you are home for Thanksgiving! What a month this has been for you!! (((HUGS))))
Being Me for the first time
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Wishek, North Dakota
Posts: 1,160
Hi Tigger . Ive been following your journey for a lil while now , Ive never had to deal with anything like such your going thu , But Im glad your home . I cant imigine going thu all that crud. Anyways my prayers go out to you .
I watched a movie one day bout a woman who was goign thu the same things as you . One thing that she had done was asked the neighbors to watch for the porch lite to be on, which would indicate troubles. just a suggestion for you . I wish you well. ~ Huggles Endzy~
I watched a movie one day bout a woman who was goign thu the same things as you . One thing that she had done was asked the neighbors to watch for the porch lite to be on, which would indicate troubles. just a suggestion for you . I wish you well. ~ Huggles Endzy~
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Missouri
Posts: 673
Jad - re: alkie priorities - I KNOW! It was a shock to my little logical brain (that he's been saying is screwed up). When I saw clothes in the drier I thought; "well, at least he was doing laundry". But then I realized they were there mine from 2+ weeks ago, and there were only 3 or 4 little things in the laundry basket. YUCK!!!
Jen - only got about 4 hours of sleep, including a nightmare. But hey... at least I slept in MY HOUSE.
L2L - I've been riding a motorcycle since college. Had a small bike that got 70 mpg. That was all the petrol I could afford. LOL. But it's not like I'm a biker chick. OMG no. I just enjoy riding from time to time. And yes, I need a holster. I'm carrying the glock more carefully now, thank you! My sister (the lawyer in NY) told me stories of people shooting themselves in the foot doing exactly what I was doing. Also, I have NO experience with a gun except a 1 day Concealed Carry course. And yes, I have a CCW permit safely tucked in my wallet right next to my license. A hoodie sweat shirt with a kangaroo pouch is a good way to carry a hand gun, BTW. OKAY L2L - I'll go get a holster.
TJP - I think you're right, he never read the OP. For such a brilliant guy, he sure messed that one up. Poor, pickled brain. I have very little art work, but no, he didn't take the art work down. I'm big into taking photos, have a very nice camera. So the pictures were mostly of family, and that's all he took down. Even broke some frames in the process. Must have had a drunken-angry night with a tad of energy. And yes, he's spent overnights in jail before. I called his ex-wife last night to update her. We were talking about his past, which we keep doing in our brief conversations. She said he'd had 2 DWI's within 6 months of each other about 10 or 15 years ago. He was on probation, had a breathalyser installed in his car and couldn't start it until he'd blown into it, and then was only allowed to drive to work. Had to hoof it to his nightly AA meetings. OMG that must have PO's him! No wonder he hates AA. LOL! I find it amusing that this story was one he repeated to me many times to tell me how much he hated AA and the miserable people there. But he left out the part about TWO DWI's (his story it was only one), and probation, and breathalyser and walking to meetings. LOL - and he's tried to pound into my head how honest he is. I've realized from the pages of SR that alcoholics lie about LOTS of things. It's just odd finding out what the lies were from my own alkie.
Live - still sending warm, healing, loving thoughts your way!
Hugs to all, and THANK YOU for your encouragement. I love you guys!!!
Tigg
Jen - only got about 4 hours of sleep, including a nightmare. But hey... at least I slept in MY HOUSE.
L2L - I've been riding a motorcycle since college. Had a small bike that got 70 mpg. That was all the petrol I could afford. LOL. But it's not like I'm a biker chick. OMG no. I just enjoy riding from time to time. And yes, I need a holster. I'm carrying the glock more carefully now, thank you! My sister (the lawyer in NY) told me stories of people shooting themselves in the foot doing exactly what I was doing. Also, I have NO experience with a gun except a 1 day Concealed Carry course. And yes, I have a CCW permit safely tucked in my wallet right next to my license. A hoodie sweat shirt with a kangaroo pouch is a good way to carry a hand gun, BTW. OKAY L2L - I'll go get a holster.
TJP - I think you're right, he never read the OP. For such a brilliant guy, he sure messed that one up. Poor, pickled brain. I have very little art work, but no, he didn't take the art work down. I'm big into taking photos, have a very nice camera. So the pictures were mostly of family, and that's all he took down. Even broke some frames in the process. Must have had a drunken-angry night with a tad of energy. And yes, he's spent overnights in jail before. I called his ex-wife last night to update her. We were talking about his past, which we keep doing in our brief conversations. She said he'd had 2 DWI's within 6 months of each other about 10 or 15 years ago. He was on probation, had a breathalyser installed in his car and couldn't start it until he'd blown into it, and then was only allowed to drive to work. Had to hoof it to his nightly AA meetings. OMG that must have PO's him! No wonder he hates AA. LOL! I find it amusing that this story was one he repeated to me many times to tell me how much he hated AA and the miserable people there. But he left out the part about TWO DWI's (his story it was only one), and probation, and breathalyser and walking to meetings. LOL - and he's tried to pound into my head how honest he is. I've realized from the pages of SR that alcoholics lie about LOTS of things. It's just odd finding out what the lies were from my own alkie.
Live - still sending warm, healing, loving thoughts your way!
Hugs to all, and THANK YOU for your encouragement. I love you guys!!!
Tigg
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,059
hi tigger-
i know you are happy to be back in your house but it doesn't seem like a safe place right now. there is a good chance that he will come back to the house, as his stuff is there and his car.
i understand that he's not allowed to, but that doesn't seem to have bothered him before.
i'm not sure what to do...perhaps call the police station where he is being held and discuss with them. perhaps you can put his things in his car and drive it to the police station? then, he wouldn't need to contact you for these things or show up to take them.
i'm also not thrilled about the gun, as it could be used against you by him.
can you have someon (one of your sons?) come over and stay with you at least?
just be careful. there is a good chance that detoxing in a jail cell will make him angry. if he's anything like mine, he doesn't care about himself and would be willing to go back into the cell, just to seek his revenge.
you be careful.
naive
i know you are happy to be back in your house but it doesn't seem like a safe place right now. there is a good chance that he will come back to the house, as his stuff is there and his car.
i understand that he's not allowed to, but that doesn't seem to have bothered him before.
i'm not sure what to do...perhaps call the police station where he is being held and discuss with them. perhaps you can put his things in his car and drive it to the police station? then, he wouldn't need to contact you for these things or show up to take them.
i'm also not thrilled about the gun, as it could be used against you by him.
can you have someon (one of your sons?) come over and stay with you at least?
just be careful. there is a good chance that detoxing in a jail cell will make him angry. if he's anything like mine, he doesn't care about himself and would be willing to go back into the cell, just to seek his revenge.
you be careful.
naive
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Missouri
Posts: 673
Naive, you're right, my house is NOT safe from him. But I've taken all the necessary precautions. And God is caring for me. I'm learning to trust my instincts, and if I feel uncomfortable, I'll book out of here. My girl friend's house is still open to me, and I even left a few things there. I agree, he'll probably be back. That's why I'm carrying the cell and gun on me at all times. And all the other things I'm doing. I also agree that he won't care about himself, and he's out of his alcoholic mind. Trust me, I'm fully aware. But I'm SO glad you care enough to warn me! You never know what people might not know.
Pel - I love you! I knew that the minute I saw Stripe and Yellow on your signature. You encourage me each and every day! If and when we have our SR Family Reunion, you'd better be there for an in person hug!
Bucyn - Can't really do that. My puppies and kitty would set it off. But I'll be wandering the floors of Home Depot and picking stuff up along those lines. Not today on T-day, but tomorrow and Saturday. I'm actually more concerned with the garage door and the windows.
Pel - I love you! I knew that the minute I saw Stripe and Yellow on your signature. You encourage me each and every day! If and when we have our SR Family Reunion, you'd better be there for an in person hug!
Bucyn - Can't really do that. My puppies and kitty would set it off. But I'll be wandering the floors of Home Depot and picking stuff up along those lines. Not today on T-day, but tomorrow and Saturday. I'm actually more concerned with the garage door and the windows.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: back from the brink
Posts: 457
Tigger, this is great news! Good for you for taking the steps to make a break from this type of life. I guarantee you, you've got better days ahead.
I went through a similar thing when my AH was served with a restraining/protection order. He was home, drinking, on a weekday... while I was at work, anxiously waiting for the county police officer to notify me of the serving. What a nerve-wracking day that was. When they finally called, my blood pressure was about to explode.
I went home, and entered the house with a knot in my gut. Fearful. Locked the doors, loaded the shotgun, and took a big sigh of relief. It was DONE. I didn't sleep much that night, or nights after that for some weeks. I had to pack up his stuff and set it out on the porch - and he came with an officer to gather it all. That was the last time I saw him for several weeks - until the temporary protective order court appearance was scheduled to make it permanent. I got a 4 year order.
Then I filed for divorce and we met in court again several months later. Fast forward two years... and another appearance in court to finalize the divorce. Twas' the last time I saw him - and I hope our paths never cross again!
Peace to you!
I went through a similar thing when my AH was served with a restraining/protection order. He was home, drinking, on a weekday... while I was at work, anxiously waiting for the county police officer to notify me of the serving. What a nerve-wracking day that was. When they finally called, my blood pressure was about to explode.
I went home, and entered the house with a knot in my gut. Fearful. Locked the doors, loaded the shotgun, and took a big sigh of relief. It was DONE. I didn't sleep much that night, or nights after that for some weeks. I had to pack up his stuff and set it out on the porch - and he came with an officer to gather it all. That was the last time I saw him for several weeks - until the temporary protective order court appearance was scheduled to make it permanent. I got a 4 year order.
Then I filed for divorce and we met in court again several months later. Fast forward two years... and another appearance in court to finalize the divorce. Twas' the last time I saw him - and I hope our paths never cross again!
Peace to you!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Missouri
Posts: 673
My son and I changed the code to open the garage doorn this morning. He doesn't have a garage door opener, I assume it's in his new car. There are two or more locked doors at each of the 3 entrances. So with the changed locks and the code change, there is no way he can get into the house without breaking in or knocking.
I had a lovely, relaxing day all day, and although it's only 7:00pm, I'm considering going to bed soon. Have to work tomorrow until 2pm.
Wow ISURVIVED - that's an amazing story. And you DID Survive!
Guess what? I can watch whatever I want on TV!
I had a lovely, relaxing day all day, and although it's only 7:00pm, I'm considering going to bed soon. Have to work tomorrow until 2pm.
Wow ISURVIVED - that's an amazing story. And you DID Survive!
Guess what? I can watch whatever I want on TV!
Curled up in a good book...
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 1,542
Originally Posted by tigger11 
Guess what? I can watch whatever I want on TV!
Enjoy your freedom, you deserve it!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Missouri
Posts: 673
Hey All!
Naive - the deal is that he has to come back with a police escort, or he doesn't get his stuff. It's either that or break in, which is why I carry a phone and a gun with me 'round the house. Meanwhile, I'm still making the wall of boxes and garbage bags 'round his car higher and higher. How he was planning on leaving with a truckload full of stuff (he never throws anything out), a car and a motorcycle, I have no idea. Good luck, buddy!
Guess what? I LOVE being all by myself in my home!
Naive - the deal is that he has to come back with a police escort, or he doesn't get his stuff. It's either that or break in, which is why I carry a phone and a gun with me 'round the house. Meanwhile, I'm still making the wall of boxes and garbage bags 'round his car higher and higher. How he was planning on leaving with a truckload full of stuff (he never throws anything out), a car and a motorcycle, I have no idea. Good luck, buddy!
Guess what? I LOVE being all by myself in my home!
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