I'm Really Doing This... I Think I May Puke!!!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Someplace USA
Posts: 415
Whereisthisgoin,
This has taken years and years. I've been with him for 8 1/2 years and wanting to leave most of them. I found out he was a mean control freak about 6 months in and was planning on leaving. I got sick with MS. I spent years over medicated and sick, in pain, just putting up with everything.
His drinking really became a major issue about 2+ years ago and at the same time I found he was smoking pot. Just a "hand full of times" is his excuse. I planned on leaving him. He begged.. I stayed... I've lived keeping my mouth shut mostly or he flips a verbally abusive brick. Lots of emotional stuff, I just ignore him now. I've been detached for a long time. I've dreamed of leaving or his death for five years or more. Yep I'm off.
Even with all of that I feel guilty because he's "acting" nice right now and I'm freakin out over the good news of the house. Some of my staying is the partly disabled MS can't work at all or I loose my medicare thing. If I could get a job and depend on myself I'm not sure this would be so hard. I will have to have spousal support and then live on what our big house sells for.
This has taken years and years. I've been with him for 8 1/2 years and wanting to leave most of them. I found out he was a mean control freak about 6 months in and was planning on leaving. I got sick with MS. I spent years over medicated and sick, in pain, just putting up with everything.
His drinking really became a major issue about 2+ years ago and at the same time I found he was smoking pot. Just a "hand full of times" is his excuse. I planned on leaving him. He begged.. I stayed... I've lived keeping my mouth shut mostly or he flips a verbally abusive brick. Lots of emotional stuff, I just ignore him now. I've been detached for a long time. I've dreamed of leaving or his death for five years or more. Yep I'm off.
Even with all of that I feel guilty because he's "acting" nice right now and I'm freakin out over the good news of the house. Some of my staying is the partly disabled MS can't work at all or I loose my medicare thing. If I could get a job and depend on myself I'm not sure this would be so hard. I will have to have spousal support and then live on what our big house sells for.
Blu**ed Lines...A ClockWork SR
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: AZ
Posts: 2,529
Congrats... Hope to be there in about a year... Rebuilding my credit goes hand in hand with rebuilding my psyche!!! You're an inspiration! All I can say is that you should feel really good!
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