New here but not new to dealing with alcoholics
peaceful seabird
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: floating
Posts: 4,822
Why did I fall for all of this for so long? I grew up watching this I could have wrote the script on how my life is going. How could I believe this would be different?? I just don't know. I just wanted to believe and have it so bad!!!!
I probably would not know what to do if everyone around me was sober, I might get bored HA!
Be gentle with yourself. You need you. You are doing the best you can. You have just be given a big spoonful of reality.
The part about wanting to believe and wanting to have it be true, oh you are so not alone on that! We refer to it as magical thinking around here. It's what we have been doing to avoid accepting the truth. The magic can't keep up with the reality. Eventually the reality starts to sink into our thick heads and we see with new eyes our situation.
It can be very overwhelming. You sound like you are overwhelmed right now. You don't need to solve this tonight. You can take some deep breaths, get yourself ready for bed and try to get some sleep.
Keep reaching out for the help you need. In the end, you'll find the way to have the life you deserve.
I probably would not know what to do if everyone around me was sober, I might get bored HA!
Be gentle with yourself. You need you. You are doing the best you can. You have just be given a big spoonful of reality.
The part about wanting to believe and wanting to have it be true, oh you are so not alone on that! We refer to it as magical thinking around here. It's what we have been doing to avoid accepting the truth. The magic can't keep up with the reality. Eventually the reality starts to sink into our thick heads and we see with new eyes our situation.
It can be very overwhelming. You sound like you are overwhelmed right now. You don't need to solve this tonight. You can take some deep breaths, get yourself ready for bed and try to get some sleep.
Keep reaching out for the help you need. In the end, you'll find the way to have the life you deserve.
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 1,103
OMG, this is SO true, esp when there is so much pressure from the A for you to accompany him to bars...pressure from his friends and family who are in denial and want to drag him out to bars...going grocery shopping and he stops at the alcohol section to buy "Bloody Mary mix" (but it's to make VIRGIN bloody marys, I swear)....when you try to let go and let him hang out with his friends, then you get a drunken phone call from him, with slurred words...and you're trying not to worry he's going to do something stupid, and you feel ticked off at his stupid friends and you want to beat them up for dragging him out...getting mixed messages constantly (one minute he's saying how great he feels not drinking, the next he says he's bored and antsy; one minute he says "the bar is a black hole', the next minute he's ditching you to hang out with his drinking buddies...where? at the bar?)
yeah, those are just a couple of my experiences.
yeah, those are just a couple of my experiences.
Originally Posted by Jadmack25 
((([COLOR="Navy"](((Is there a way to support them with out enabling them?)))
Only by you learning how to cease trying to control the totally uncontrolable, being strong and taking care of yourself, not mothering or smothering them, letting them feel the consequences of their actions and often, leaving them to hit bottom by themselves. Personally I feel that staying and not enabling in some way, is the hardest thing of all.
God bless
Only by you learning how to cease trying to control the totally uncontrolable, being strong and taking care of yourself, not mothering or smothering them, letting them feel the consequences of their actions and often, leaving them to hit bottom by themselves. Personally I feel that staying and not enabling in some way, is the hardest thing of all.
God bless
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