blessed4x

I'll spare you the gorey details, but suffice it to say that STBXAH is certifiably crazy. He has decided that he doesn't like the terms of the offer made to settle before court Thursday and has informed me that he will be contesting the divorce and plans on dragging it out.

My attorney says that I have been very generous, and that in the end if he contests he will end up worse off, not to mention the thousands it will costs to contest. He wants to walk away with no financial resposibility and is now ready to fight dirty. He may just be quacking, but I am praying he signs the offer so that we can all move on with our lives. Throughout this process I have said that in a year or two, if he moves toward recovery I would consider reconciling. After the weekend I have had it's all coming back to me as to WHY I filed to begin with and I'm thinking it will be a cold day on Hades before I want to ever take a risk of going back.

Ago

:ghug :praying

ran out of smilies before I got to crossed fingers, sorry

is there a smily with "the bird"? I'd happily flip him one of those if there were

laurie6781

I'm so sorry, I don't want to laugh, but that sounds like "some sound legal advise from his drinking buddies" lol.

He just wants to keep the 'drama' going. HP knows alkies have to have "drama'. I will say an extra prayer and send more good thoughts that by Thursday, he will have re-thunk this.

However, I have to agree, an alcoholic/addict in the throes of practicing their addiction are CERTIFIABLY INSANE!!!!!!

Hang in there, it is coming to end. He is just a drowning man sending out some last minute 'manipulations.'

You on the other hand, have taken your program and run with it!!!! You are moving forward and your recovery is very definitely showing!!!!!

Love and hugs,

Still Waters

Ugh...I worry that I'll have this issue too.

Big hugs to you Blessed, this too shall pass.

blessed4x

I think you are right on with this. And, if he starts f*&%ing with my kids he is NOT going to like what he sees! He let them down this morning.....promised an all weekend visit and brought them back after 2 1/2 hours. And I get to pick up the pieces......I'll stop before I digress.

tallulah

Uggghhh I hear ya. I know exactly how you feel.

I see it as a last ditch attempt to exert some control over the situation, do some last damage, not take responsibility like an adult and keep the drama going.

When you break it down it is, for want of a better word, pathetic. When you see it for what it is anger and frustration can be replaced with some rolling eyes and pity.

You do what YOU need to do. Whatever he does is on him.

Sending hugs and good vibes your way. :ghug

Pelican

So sorry the children were let down this weekend. Maybe you can bake some cookies and make the house smell like momma's loving!


2 1/2 hours? A trip on the S.S. Minnow lasted longer "A three hour tour, a three hour tour"


Hopefully his attorney will tell him how much this will cost him to drag this out and he will behave. Hopefully.

naive

blessed-

well, there is not much you can do if he wants to not agree. i wonder if he is angry, blaming you (as per normal) and is now just trying to cause hassle to you. don't take the bait and get sucked in. let the lawyers handle it.

are you still considering a "nesting" situation with this man?

from where i sit, you have bent over backwards to offer him a fair, generous even, situation where he can get on with his life and be a father to his children. you are behaving like an adult, caring for the children, and even him.

he, in turn, is angry, wants revenge of some sort and wants to play a game. the stakes are high in his game. try not to get drawn in.

my best to you,
naive

blessed4x

I would like nothing more, but I don't think it's going to be possible anytime soon. He had been acting sane, reasonable, and we were having some great communicatin for a couple weeks. I thought he was starting to accept and focus on the kids. This has really thrown me for a loop. When he moved out he left his rings (wedding and one I gave him for an anniversary). Yesterday when he brought the kids back, while I was working, he went through my things and took them back.

I would suspect he is drinking again, because all of the behaviors are back.....like anvilhead said, could be a gift because it helps me remember why I am doing this to begin with. He has made reference to "moving on". Wouldn't surprise me a bit as he won't feel whole without someone feeding his ego.

*sigh* We'll be fine. I just got a crash course in not getting the kids hopes up regarding how much fun they'll have with dad.

gowest

I hate to say it but i think you might want to consider changing the word soon to ever.

When you posted your original plan I didn't respond as I didn't want to be the voice of doom.

My STBexH couldn't do the "nesting" thing and he didn't have any substance abuse problems. He still wanted everything on his terms.

I'd say I'm sorry for you but actually I'm not. I have learned that sometimes putting myself first is really better for the kids in the long run.