jtr90

I am at the point right now where everything my alcoholic father does irritates me. The people he hangs around (who are much younger than him), his drinking of course, and his lifestyle in general; its not healthy and he takes too much for granted.

How would you suggest I learn to ignore these habits so that I can have mental piece cause I do not enjoy being around him or his "friends" when he has been drinking. I'm hoping to be working by the end of next week so I can get away, but until then I need guidance.

The divorce is on its way, but not soon enough...

GiveLove

JTR, I had two alcoholic parents, and had the same problems.

I can tell you that I devised a thousand and one ways to not be anywhere near them unless I absolutely had to (curfew, junk like that) I had a stack of places to go -- friends, the college, the library, night classes, coffee shops, art museums...... LOL

I COULD NOT ignore it if I was around them, so I just bided my time until I could get away, and steered 100% clear of them unless there was no human way to avoid it. Basically, I showered and slept at home, and did everything else somewhere else.

Not sure if that's an option, but it worked for me.

cmc

As a young teenager I was fortunate to be surrounded with alot of friends who were older. Some were five years older and became surrogate siblings and others were married couples who 'took me in' in a sense and included me in many aspects of their lives.

I didn't realize at the time that in many ways my parents, who were basically good people....were emotionally distant and quite disfunctional. It wasn't until I witnessed first hand how healthier people chose to live that I knew what I was missing out on. I guess one could say, that in my case, the solution appeared before I recognized the problem.

Steering clear of toxic people and filling my life with healthy folks helps me keep 'my space' peaceful. "My space" includes my literal space as well as my social interactions- and the thoughts and emotions that I have.

smacked

I might be repeating what I've said on your other posts, but my thoughts are the same. Spend time outside the house, and do everything you can to get and stay out of there, for your own wellbeing.

Sweets79

Hi,

I grew up with an alcoholic father. I lived in his house for 18 years. Luckily my grandmother lived next door, so whenever he got out of control I would flee to her house. That was no answer though. I had always wished my mother had gotten a divorce, so look at that as a blessing.

When you start work I think it will be much better, because you won't be home so much. And, when you get home, you will be so tired, you will just have time to eat, shower and go to sleep. I also agree with what smacked said. Try to be out of the house as much as possible.

Until the divorce, when you are home, just try to stay in your room, or read a book, maybe try to watch some TV. There is no real great advice for this situation. It's just a kind of make the best of it type of thing. Believe me I know where you're coming from. Just look at the bright side, it won't be for that much longer.