He doesn't love me and never did!!!!
Being Silent so I can Hear
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 2,521
He says the AA people he is talking to are telling him things that are completely different than the people I am talking to. I am thinking that it is probable that he is distorting the facts unknowingly or knowingly to get his needs met. He did go on another recovery web site and lied through his whole post about his recovery process and pretty much everything. I am thinking not much has changed and not much will for a long time if ever.
My AH is supposedly "recovered" and if he hasn't been drinking since I left, he will have been dry for about a year and a half. At any time I can go and find him at his favorite online haunts and ponder over the lies he tells on a daily basis. Last time I read one, it was about his daughter...that's MY daughter, and some daily issue. She's not there, and hasn't been for quite a while. Lies, delusions, lack of responsibility for anything...it just continues. And, it's all my fault - I'm the one that needs help. :P
Meh. I've got better things to do, like finding work.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Calgary, Alberta, Canada
Posts: 37
Originally Posted by tallulah 
If I was ever in doubt that this veteran off again/on again AA member and 2 year chip holder was perhaps not as recovered as I thought he was.. it is right there when he mocked the programme.
OP don't ever let him make you doubt your recovery and your programme.. and when the buzz words and phrases start flying.. duck.
OP don't ever let him make you doubt your recovery and your programme.. and when the buzz words and phrases start flying.. duck.
I went throught the same thing when I started my program. I heard about the alcoholic haters and our bashing meetings.
The more I read the more I realize that this one year thing really means nothing. I told him I was confused with the one year recomendation as it seems to me that working the steps (really working them) means more than a time frame.
Two year chip holder....guess he is not as recovered as he thought he was either.
My program is my own and it doesn't matter what he thinks. The end result for me is higher learning and serenity for the first time.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: London, UK
Posts: 927
As far as I'm aware livn, the programme, the steps, the whole thing is a life long commitment. Al-Anon is based on the AA 12 step programme so I would have thought the level of commitment to working it (over and above not picking up a drink) is the same.
At the end of the meeting you are asked to keep an open mind and it specifically says 'let there be no gossip or criticism of one another'.. so it is kind of strange to hear criticism from the A. But that is his to deal with.. you don't have to accept what he says about you or your recovery as gospel. Your programme is yours and your responsibility. If you are working it, it will work.. no matter what he says or does.
At the end of the meeting you are asked to keep an open mind and it specifically says 'let there be no gossip or criticism of one another'.. so it is kind of strange to hear criticism from the A. But that is his to deal with.. you don't have to accept what he says about you or your recovery as gospel. Your programme is yours and your responsibility. If you are working it, it will work.. no matter what he says or does.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
