dreamstones

hopeforsis,
What you will learn about alcoholics is that they will use every mean in the world to keep drinking and to NOT admit they have a problem. I'm attaching an interesting article about Excuses that Alcoholic's Make. Basically, they are psychological defense mechanisms the A will use to protect their drinking ways and place the blame for their problems (or denial of problems) on others.

I would seriously recommend going to Al-Anon and even having your nephew go to Al-Ateen. You use the word hate and love when talking about your sister and believe me, those feelings along with a host of others do come to the forefront when dealing with the A in our lives. You need to learn to focus on yourself and get rid of the hate, learn to love with detachment.

Downhill is usually the direction that an alcoholic heads, that is the unfortunate truth about this disease. I have a host of family (many sober for years) experience that I've learned from, but also know that I need the support of Al-Anon, this site, education, to help me learn to live with my sister's disease.

Believe me, our stories, along with thousands (millions) of others, reflect the pain that the alcoholic loved ones in our lives causes to all of us.

Good luck and hang in there, keep searching for that peace you'll need, as well as being there for your nephew.

Jadmack25

My sister and I have never really been close, as she is a "keep your distance" person, and I moved interstate over 40 years ago. The only calls I have ever got from her in that time were (1) to tell me our dad had just died, and (2) to tell me that my then 95 year old mum had fallen and broken her hip. I spent 2 weeks staying with her while mum was in hospital, and it was quite an experience. 3 bottles of wine every day from 4pm til she fell into bed, and the negativity re mum recovering and life in general, nearly suffocated me.

Her daughter came for a visit recently and AS quit drinking for the time her girl was with her, but hit it again as soon as the visit was over. I was disappointed, but not very surprised. This morning I spoke to mum and she says AS has been sober for last 3 weeks, going to AA again and on new medication for her chronic depression. No idea why she quit, but sure not going to argue with whatever the reason may be.

Have stepped up my prayers for her healing and leaving her in God's hands.

Hope your AS comes to her moment of truth and heals also.

God bless