the quote of the day
Rediscovering myself
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 231
the quote of the day
I've scrimped and saved this past month trying to scrape together $100 to buy a treadmill. I finally picked it up on Saturday. According to my running routine I was supposed to run last night, but life got in the way. I got back from my Alanon meeting last night, put the baby down and got online thinking I'd put my running off a day. A friend of mine asked if I ran, I said no, I'd run tomorrow. He said, "So, was the treadmill a life changing decision or just an empty gesture". Needless to say, I was finishing my run last night at 10:30 pm.
I've been holding a boundary with my STBXAH for a week now, with daily verbal attacks from him. I keep looking for ways to get out of it, perhaps if I do this, or that I can relent, find a way to negotiate... a way we can both be happy. Then it hit me... Did I make a life changing decision, or was it just an empty gesture?
The boundary stands. No is a complete sentence.
I've been holding a boundary with my STBXAH for a week now, with daily verbal attacks from him. I keep looking for ways to get out of it, perhaps if I do this, or that I can relent, find a way to negotiate... a way we can both be happy. Then it hit me... Did I make a life changing decision, or was it just an empty gesture?
The boundary stands. No is a complete sentence.
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,294
Originally Posted by justaboutus 
"So, was ________ a life changing decision or just an empty gesture?"
It just smacks me upside the head with a reminder that there are two ends of the spectrum to which I fall prey:
- Stuff I think is SO important, that really isn't
- Stuff that IS important, that I devitalize through rationalization
I'm so glad you shared this!
CLMI
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 273
Originally Posted by justaboutus
The boundary stands. No is a complete sentence.
Last time I said NO the response I received from STBXH was "no is not an acceptable answer" WTF??
No wonder we feel crazy.
I stood by my NO too!
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: MO
Posts: 743
Originally Posted by justaboutus
perhaps if I do this, or that I can relent, find a way to negotiate... a way we can both be happy.
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Stumbling toward happiness
Posts: 4,706
Good for you, justaboutus.
Empty gestures can fill up a whole life, and I couldn't bear the thought of sitting on the edge of my retirement home bed at 90, looking back at all the things I didn't do for myself.
Do you participate in coolrunning dot com's discussion areas? I get a lot of motivation from those folks too. There are usually a few "running moms" threads
Empty gestures can fill up a whole life, and I couldn't bear the thought of sitting on the edge of my retirement home bed at 90, looking back at all the things I didn't do for myself.
Do you participate in coolrunning dot com's discussion areas? I get a lot of motivation from those folks too. There are usually a few "running moms" threads
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Join Date: May 2008
Location: MO
Posts: 743
justaboutus......I don't want to hijack your thread, and you or GiveLove can PM me if that's better, but what is coolrunning? I just started walking/jogging a couple weeks ago, and any motivation would be good!
Rediscovering myself
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 231
I don't mind my thread being hijacked (as long as it's something I'm interested in). Cool running is the website that launched the couch to 5k program (I think... anyway the two are linked somehow).
I may hop over onto those forums. I'm just finishing up my first week of running.
I may hop over onto those forums. I'm just finishing up my first week of running.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,888
Congrats on saving up funds for a treadmill!!!
Back in the day, when I had a few bucks in the bank, I bought one and it is one of the best purchases I have ever made. I prefer power walking (though I do jog a bit now and then). The rhythm and repetition are very meditative for me.
I have never been able to meditate because I cannot get my mind quiet no matter how hard I try, but when I'm walking, I can focus so much better and really let a lot of my own mental noise go.
What a great friend you have to ask a tough question like that. I think most folks would have said, "hey that's too bad about your busy schedule. Maybe you'll get to run tomorrow." He gave your conscience a voice, bravo!
Keep up the great work!
Alice
Back in the day, when I had a few bucks in the bank, I bought one and it is one of the best purchases I have ever made. I prefer power walking (though I do jog a bit now and then). The rhythm and repetition are very meditative for me.
I have never been able to meditate because I cannot get my mind quiet no matter how hard I try, but when I'm walking, I can focus so much better and really let a lot of my own mental noise go.
What a great friend you have to ask a tough question like that. I think most folks would have said, "hey that's too bad about your busy schedule. Maybe you'll get to run tomorrow." He gave your conscience a voice, bravo!
Keep up the great work!
Alice
I grew my wings to fly...
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: STATE OF CONTENTMENT
Posts: 289
So was this a life changing decision or just an empty gesture? That hit home in more ways then one. My youngest son (15) brought something similar to my attention when I went out of town, I was to be home by a Friday night and said I was changing my mind, he said; you never stick to your decisions, that is why the AXBF thinks he can waltz back into our life at any time. From that day on (a month ago) I stick to my 'guns', especially since it isn't affecting just my life.
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