All I need is some peace of mind, so this little rant
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Philadelphia PA
Posts: 1
All I need is some peace of mind, so this little rant
Hi,
First I would like you to know that I am in Al-Anon, 3 years now. I thanke my HP everyday for bring my qualifier into my life. People not in a program never understand that. I met him 5 years ago, and really didn't know that he had a drinking problem. We moved in together 6 months after knowing each other. At that time nither one of us was in a program. About 2 months after livigng with him, the drinking was out of control, I do now know that this was most likely going on before, but I didn't see it 24-7. When we talked about this, he let's loos a bombshell that he had been in AA about 5 years before that and he knows how to handel his drinking now, and he would stop. I didn't know how AA worked, and things were OK for awhile. He then lost 2 jobs, cheated on me with a married woman, stole, and all the lies, I still believed that we could get through all of this, I was going to my meetings and practicing what I heard in the rooms. One day he decided that he needed help, he made all the calls and went to a Detox-Rehab. After 1 week, he calls and said that he can come home and go to meeting on his own. Didn't sound right to me, but this is HIS recovery, not mine. About 6 weeks after this, he tells me that we can not be together, that neither of us will recover with the other in their life. Now here is the really crazy part, 2 weeks after this, he is on-line and meeting women to date. We were still living in the same place, but diferent rooms until I could find somewhere to go. All I said ws, "does your sponser know about this", his answere was, Yes, and he said not a good idea. After I move out, he still email & calls me, up to around Thanksgiving. All the time saying that he is not dating any women, he is doing good in his program, etc, etc. I found out the other day that one of the first women he met he married. Oh and she is in the AA program also. I could be wrong since I am not in the AA program, but is it not suggested that you do not change any relationships in the first 6-12 months? Anyway, I really needed to rant, and I do wish the 2 of them all the luck they need. Thnaks for listening to me
First I would like you to know that I am in Al-Anon, 3 years now. I thanke my HP everyday for bring my qualifier into my life. People not in a program never understand that. I met him 5 years ago, and really didn't know that he had a drinking problem. We moved in together 6 months after knowing each other. At that time nither one of us was in a program. About 2 months after livigng with him, the drinking was out of control, I do now know that this was most likely going on before, but I didn't see it 24-7. When we talked about this, he let's loos a bombshell that he had been in AA about 5 years before that and he knows how to handel his drinking now, and he would stop. I didn't know how AA worked, and things were OK for awhile. He then lost 2 jobs, cheated on me with a married woman, stole, and all the lies, I still believed that we could get through all of this, I was going to my meetings and practicing what I heard in the rooms. One day he decided that he needed help, he made all the calls and went to a Detox-Rehab. After 1 week, he calls and said that he can come home and go to meeting on his own. Didn't sound right to me, but this is HIS recovery, not mine. About 6 weeks after this, he tells me that we can not be together, that neither of us will recover with the other in their life. Now here is the really crazy part, 2 weeks after this, he is on-line and meeting women to date. We were still living in the same place, but diferent rooms until I could find somewhere to go. All I said ws, "does your sponser know about this", his answere was, Yes, and he said not a good idea. After I move out, he still email & calls me, up to around Thanksgiving. All the time saying that he is not dating any women, he is doing good in his program, etc, etc. I found out the other day that one of the first women he met he married. Oh and she is in the AA program also. I could be wrong since I am not in the AA program, but is it not suggested that you do not change any relationships in the first 6-12 months? Anyway, I really needed to rant, and I do wish the 2 of them all the luck they need. Thnaks for listening to me
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
Welcome to SR! I do understand thanking HP for the qualifier in your life. Without AA and Alanon (I've been on both sides of the fence) I'd surely be a mess today.
It sounds like you have gotten the better end of the bargain by getting out of that messy relationship, and I hope you continue to post and share with us! :ghug :ghug
It sounds like you have gotten the better end of the bargain by getting out of that messy relationship, and I hope you continue to post and share with us! :ghug :ghug
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Stumbling toward happiness
Posts: 4,706
iamfine,
Sounds like you are on your WAY to being fine, for sure, without this lying, cheating, manipulative, messed-up alcoholic running roughshod over your life.
I know it must hurt now, but it really does get better. You'll soon find yourself in the place where you look back at your time together and shudder, like remembering a horrible dream. YOu deserve so much better than that. Now someone else is stuck with him, and he can treat HER like cr@p instead of you....freeing you to find a better life for yourself.
That's no way to live, and I know you know that. Keep your head high, keep working on your recovery, and keep coming back here ---- we understand 100% and are always here to lend a listening ear.
Hugs to you
:ghug3
Sounds like you are on your WAY to being fine, for sure, without this lying, cheating, manipulative, messed-up alcoholic running roughshod over your life.
I know it must hurt now, but it really does get better. You'll soon find yourself in the place where you look back at your time together and shudder, like remembering a horrible dream. YOu deserve so much better than that. Now someone else is stuck with him, and he can treat HER like cr@p instead of you....freeing you to find a better life for yourself.
That's no way to live, and I know you know that. Keep your head high, keep working on your recovery, and keep coming back here ---- we understand 100% and are always here to lend a listening ear.
Hugs to you
:ghug3
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
