sadwife

Well, I guess it shoots the theory that AH can limit his drinking. I couldn't believe it when I went into the garage to get some pop and there tucked away on the shelf was a half empty bottle of vodka! What a suprise. Could of knocked me over with a feather. That explains why he didn't understand a simple phone message that was given to him. I guess he has to figure it out himself. How come we all see the problem and they don't. Just venting. Thanks for listening, again.

smoke gets in my eyes

Hello SW,

Yeppers. Figure it out himself he must. Did you do something extra nice for yourself today?

Hugs,
Smoke

Gabe

I remember feeling like I had been hit right in the center of my being when I would stumble across evidence that the drinking was still going on. It feels like such a betrayal.
I think part of the road to recovery for we Anons is finding things like that and saying "Oh well, I'm not going to let this ruin my day." I think the less we buy into this stuff, the better it is for our sanity. Should this happen again, take it as your cue to go out and have a wonderful afternoon doing something lovely for yourself. Why drown in their misery with them?
Peace,
Gabe

sadwife

Yes, I did do something nice for myself, and thank you for asking. I called a friend and we took a long walk around a lake. It made me feel good to get out and talk and laugh. Maybe I never will get over finding his stash, but hopefully it won't negatively effect me all the time. I hope everyone out there has a nice night and takes care of themselves.
Thanks for the support. Some day I hope to be able to help someone else the way I have been helped!

JT

Sadwife,

I am going to remind you that your intuition was telling you something was stinking things up. You were right! Always trust that intuition. You don't have to act on it but take note of your feelings.

Also, what did you do with the bottle? Did you mention it to him? Now this is just me, but when I have stumbled across this sort of thing I bring it out into the light of day. I put an empty bottle on the kitchen counter one day and said nothing about it. He threw it away and said nothing about it.

Another time I did that and he accused me of searching the house checking on him...I wasn't and I said so, but so what if I was? My intuition told me something was up and it was right.

Right or wrong...I don't know, I wouldn't dump it, but that sneaky crap annoys me.

Hugs,
JT

sadwife

When I find a bottle I just leave it there. I use to pour it out but I was told to stop looking and stop pouring!
Another question for all you pros out there. I left him a note saying I love him and just want him healthy. He left me a note (he went golfing b/4 I got up) saying he messed up andwill do better today. Now, am I enabling him? Do I forget yesterday and start over fresh today? I know he is trying, but in the end will I have enough notes from him to wallpaper my house. I read on the other post that "He can quit if he wants" and it made me think is he just yanking my chain and not really trying. Oh well life goes on. Have a nice day everyone!

Gabe

And whether he "does better" or not, your life will go on. If he choses to live a sober life, good for him. If he chooses to self-destruct, don't let him take you along for the ride.
Just imagine a life where you come home, find him drunk and say "Oh well, I'm going out to have a nice evening...bye." It's very liberating to set yourself free from THEIR problem.
Peace,
Gabe

sadwife

Spoken like someone who has been down that road and survived. Hopefully I get stronger each day. Thank you! :shades: