Yippee! A huge weight off my chest!

Old 03-18-2009, 06:58 PM
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Yippee! A huge weight off my chest!

Well, I finally did it. I talked to my mom tonight about my AH and our rocky relationship. Through all that's transpired I've managed to keep up the front that we have a big, happy family. I knew my grandpa (her dad) was an alcoholic, but we had never talked about it in depth. She said to me that she hopes I can do whatever I need to for the kids sake because she never understood when she was growing up why her mom "put up with it". She said her dad was taken away to rehab several times, but always returned to drinking. He finally quit when my grandma went blind, and only then did he admit to his disease and all the pain he had caused. This was all before I was born, and I never knew him as a drinker.

She said I have her support 100% and that she is proud of me for going to Alanon and counseling. I don't know what I expected, or why I never told her before, but it sure is a relief to have it all out in the open now. I see that trying to "protect" her and my dad from the truth when my dad was terminal was all part of my own shame and fear. By golly I'm getting that elephant out of the room!

Thank you all for the support I have gotten here. I wanted to share a small victory for me. I know I am getting healthier one day at a time.
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Old 03-18-2009, 07:16 PM
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Good for you, blessed!

Letting those I loved "in" on my situation brought relief in long-term and short-term ways:
1.) I had a several pairs of understanding ears for the times when my burden was just too great to carry alone.
2.) I had several rational, loving minds processing the pain that I was sharing. They held me accountable when I was doing the same thing (over and over again) and expecting a different result.

It was scary to walk out into the open. When other people knew my business I couldn't pull the old "everything's fine" BS anymore.
Way to take a HUGE leap in the direction of a better life!

Big hugs to you and yours!
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Old 03-18-2009, 07:35 PM
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You should be so very proud of yourself for putting the truth of your situation out there.

When we tell someone what is really behind the curtain we open ourselves up to judgement, and when our emotions are raw, that can be a very dfficult process indeed. I initially got a negative reaction from my best friend about Al-Anon. I was heartbroken. She has since been nothing short of a blessing in supporting me as I work through my own recovery and the very daunting decision of leaving my ABF.

Keep strong and keep sharing your truth with those you trust.


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Old 03-18-2009, 07:40 PM
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Awesome news! Thanks for sharing it with us!
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Old 03-18-2009, 07:58 PM
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There's just so much more room when the elelphant is gone, right?
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Old 03-18-2009, 08:00 PM
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Right on! I'm so happy that you will have the support of your Mom!
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Old 03-18-2009, 09:07 PM
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(((( blessed ))))
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Old 03-19-2009, 03:01 AM
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Good for you!! I could never have made it the past 2 years without my family.

They have helped me emotionally and finacially deal with the madness.
It feels so good to know people care and love you.

I never realized how many people really do care (even strangers have helped us) To all of them I will be forever grateful.
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Old 03-19-2009, 03:29 AM
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(((Blessed))) Keep on pushing that big ol' elephant ~you are doing awesome!!!
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Old 03-19-2009, 11:51 AM
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Old 03-19-2009, 07:49 PM
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what a great post!
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Old 03-20-2009, 02:56 AM
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That's fantastic! Well done! I have just this minute skyped my brother to tell him about my "happy" marriage! Stay strong. X
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