linn4234

Hi last week things got so bad that AH was convinced to be hosptialzed. He detoxed and met with sub abuse people and started outpatient rehab last Friday. We are thankful for every day he is sober and know it can be undone in a nanosecond. Here are my questions. He is on Campral 2 tabs 3xs a day. He says it really helps curb the desire. Anyone out there have any long term experience with the drug? Dr says he wants him on it for a year. Next question is with a.a. AH has had prior experience with a.a. and his big problem with it is..why does every statement made by anyone have to repeat how much they drank, how long they drank, when they drank etc. AH is the type of person if you make a mistake you acknowledge it, and move on. If you keep dwelling on it you never get past it. Everyone in a.a. knows why they are there so why don't they stop talking about how much they use to drink? I didn't have an answer for him. He was going to a meeting today after his rehab. Maybe he will ask them there. Any answers to my questions will be appreciated. Thanks in advance.

laurie6781

First of (((((linn))))) WELCOME to SR.

I am a recovering alcoholic with many years continuously sober and clean.

Not everyone in AA constantly talks about how much and how long they drank. That is all I heard too in 'very early' recovery. I came to find out that, those statement were what my brain was still focusing on. Consciously or subconsciously I was trying to find excuses (as in I wasn't that bad, so maybe I'm not an alcoholic.)

There are MANY AA meetings with MANY different 'flavors' of recovery. Your AH just needs to find ones that he feels fit him.

As to the Campral, that is between your AH and his doctor. Some folks stay on it quite a while, some don't.

Now, to you..................................have you tried or are you attending Alanon? Better for you to focus on YOU rather than on him and 'his recovery.'

Please keep posting and let us know how YOU are doing, we do care very much.

Love and hugs,

Taking5

Not all meetings are like this although too many of them are . He needs to shop around for a meeting he likes IMHO.

Exactly! What difference does hearing another person's drunkalogue have to do with HIS sobriety?

linn4234

Thanks for the responses. Im starting to see this in another light. I have been very focused on his recovery because he was finally hospitalized. I know what he has been doing isnt working and maybe he now does too. The a.a. thing is probably an excuse to not be part of the program. How do I know what is support and what is over focusing on his recovery? I tried a couple of alanon meetings and just couldnt find the right one. I come on here and read and get support from others stories. Just want him to get better.

laurie6781

You may want him to get better, but that is NOT in your control.

You didn't CAUSE this.

You can't CONTROL this.

and

You can't CURE or FIX this.

So, instead of 'wanting' him to get better, how about focusing on you? and wanting YOU to get better.


love and hugs,

kj3880

Don't even bother trying to explain to him that not all meetings are like this (in fact, most are not like that around here). He will have a million other reasons why he doesn't like it after that one. He must not be ready yet. It takes what it takes. My ex wasn't ready. He used the excuse "I don't like to be labelled an alcoholic. There's more to me than that." Hopefully, neither of these men will die from complications of this awful disease before they wake up. As we say in NA, a key tag beats a toe tag, right?

Even so, as mentioned above, you must detach if you want to feel better. You will have to learn not to wrap up the way you feel in how much he drinks each day. Try alanon, the power of example can be very useful. If you are going to meetings, he will see that.

KJ