Powerless
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Happyland
Posts: 193
Powerless
This word was the the topic of one of my more recent meetings. As some of you know, it also has to do with our step work. It seems that this is an insurmountable task at times. Actually admitting you are powerless seems like the end all surrender, doesn't it? But it really doesn't stop there. For me, that is really where my power began.
Before, I always saw things one way...My way. I wanted my X to stop drinking so we could resume what I thought would be this awesome, peaceful life. Of course, when I tried to inflict my way, we all know the ultimate outcome...That made me feel powerless. I felt angry, lonely, abandoned, fearful, resentful, and all the other millions of emotions we talk about here often.
Giving up control has been the most powerful thing I have ever done. By giving up that power and putting it back to where it belonged, I actually gave myself permission to take a break and quit trying to fix the world-my world- in a day. While I am powerless over the effects of alcoholism in my life, there is a power greater than me that is NOT. So I just need to sit back, take care of me and let that power work without any interference from me.
Just wanted to share today.
Before, I always saw things one way...My way. I wanted my X to stop drinking so we could resume what I thought would be this awesome, peaceful life. Of course, when I tried to inflict my way, we all know the ultimate outcome...That made me feel powerless. I felt angry, lonely, abandoned, fearful, resentful, and all the other millions of emotions we talk about here often.
Giving up control has been the most powerful thing I have ever done. By giving up that power and putting it back to where it belonged, I actually gave myself permission to take a break and quit trying to fix the world-my world- in a day. While I am powerless over the effects of alcoholism in my life, there is a power greater than me that is NOT. So I just need to sit back, take care of me and let that power work without any interference from me.
Just wanted to share today.
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: FL
Posts: 14,246
I've found that it takes practice and patience to change old habits, attitudes and thoughts. Truly accepting my powerlessnes is something I need to concentrate on consistently throughout my day.
At times I can find myself slipping backwards in this regard, most often with situations that have nothing to do with addiction, alcoholism or anyone _else's_ ism.
Yes, I am powerless in many (most) ways but I am not powerless over my choices about myself, and when it comes time to change and allow what I've learned to seep into all aspects of my life: It's good.
At times I can find myself slipping backwards in this regard, most often with situations that have nothing to do with addiction, alcoholism or anyone _else's_ ism.
Yes, I am powerless in many (most) ways but I am not powerless over my choices about myself, and when it comes time to change and allow what I've learned to seep into all aspects of my life: It's good.
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