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Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Iowa
Posts: 2
New to forum
I wrote a horribly long post, then seemed to have lost it...not sure I can write it all again *lol* Maybe it will show up later?
First of all, thank you to everyone who posts here. I was floating around online, looking for a place where I wouldn't feel quite so alone.
As I mentioned, I don't want to go into my entire long story again, at least not today. My main issue is that I have finally left my husband of 9 years. After losing his job and going to the hospital for the fifth time, having been told repeatedly he can't drink, not only due to the liver damage he has already incurred, but he was recently diagnosed with diabetes. He swears his job had it in for him, and he can't stop drinking so we all just have to understand.
I'll do my best to understand that he can't stop, but I have to do it from a distance. I'm losing about 75% of my income...that's enough to give me an ulcer. I'm scared of having enough, but I have applied for assistance, because, as everyone keeps wanting to remind me, yes he has to help us, but how can he do that if he's not working? I can't rely on that anymore.
I've lived on my own before, but never with two children. On top of that, our daughter is just finishing up treatment at a center for children with emotional and behaviorals issues. She is 10, we adopted her when she was almost 6. She came from a history of neglect and abuse. She is better, but still a huge challenge. But I feel stronger doing it on my own, not worrying if today will be a day he helps me, or demands all of my attention.
I can stop lying and covering up for his absence. So much freedom mixed with terrror and panic.
I hope I can join your group, to have a place to share, but also offer encouragement to others.
First of all, thank you to everyone who posts here. I was floating around online, looking for a place where I wouldn't feel quite so alone.
As I mentioned, I don't want to go into my entire long story again, at least not today. My main issue is that I have finally left my husband of 9 years. After losing his job and going to the hospital for the fifth time, having been told repeatedly he can't drink, not only due to the liver damage he has already incurred, but he was recently diagnosed with diabetes. He swears his job had it in for him, and he can't stop drinking so we all just have to understand.
I'll do my best to understand that he can't stop, but I have to do it from a distance. I'm losing about 75% of my income...that's enough to give me an ulcer. I'm scared of having enough, but I have applied for assistance, because, as everyone keeps wanting to remind me, yes he has to help us, but how can he do that if he's not working? I can't rely on that anymore.
I've lived on my own before, but never with two children. On top of that, our daughter is just finishing up treatment at a center for children with emotional and behaviorals issues. She is 10, we adopted her when she was almost 6. She came from a history of neglect and abuse. She is better, but still a huge challenge. But I feel stronger doing it on my own, not worrying if today will be a day he helps me, or demands all of my attention.
I can stop lying and covering up for his absence. So much freedom mixed with terrror and panic.
I hope I can join your group, to have a place to share, but also offer encouragement to others.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,056
Originally Posted by MissVirgo 
I hope I can join your group, to have a place to share, but also offer encouragement to others.
Glad you're here!
Trying to find a path
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Northern Indiana
Posts: 91
So much freedom mixed with terrror and panic
It is also very scary. I think it is scary mostly because I don't know what to expect. One of the things that I do is take a few minutes after dinner and plan tomorrow. I try to keep busy and try not to focus too far into the future ...
I'm not there yet but I can tell that I am moving.
You have found a good and supportive place. Read, Read, Read!
I found the sticky's were a great resource to start out. Welcome!!!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: OHIO
Posts: 959
Welcome and keep posting - getting it all out does help alot and our ears are here for you......remember the 3 c's
You didnt cause it
You cant control it
You cant cure it
Keep saying this to yourself ok.
Janitw (click on any of our names to learn our histories ok)
You didnt cause it
You cant control it
You cant cure it
Keep saying this to yourself ok.
Janitw (click on any of our names to learn our histories ok)
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Wizard Land Downunder
Posts: 2,615
Stay with the thought that you are the responsible person and need all the help and support to care for yourself and the children.
Life will not be easy for you, but could be so much harder with him stuffing it up and complicating it.
God bless
Life will not be easy for you, but could be so much harder with him stuffing it up and complicating it.
God bless
CindeRella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life!
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Spreading my wings
Posts: 7,163
Welcome to SR Miss.V! 
You are not alone-Glad that you found us! Please check out the stickies at the top of the forum as they are filled with a wealth of information! Keep posting there is a lot of support in our little SR family! 
You are not alone-Glad that you found us! Please check out the stickies at the top of the forum as they are filled with a wealth of information! Keep posting there is a lot of support in our little SR family! 
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