Hit Bottom- makes you think
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Great Lake Country
Posts: 333
Hit Bottom- makes you think
This is sort of a continuation of my thread from yesterday, and a bit of comment on Hit Bottom and something I have to say to keep things straight in my own head.
My AW is playing the game, and playing it very well indeed. She says the right things at the right time, which keeps me off balance.
However, even forgetting the years of stupid stuff she's done, lets consider the last two weeks. What has she done to make things better?
Nothing
What has she done to make things worse?
Skipped her counseling appt.
Drove drunk twice.
Passed out 8 times.
Been mean and abusive 6 times (it sorta all runs together)
Refused treatment
Lied to her daughter
Lied to me
Kept up an emotional/physical (don't really know) affair
Missed Bills
With this sort of stuff going on, you can't believe a word they say. Actions not words matter. What happens to a mother who says "I'm going to give my child a bath" and never does it? The department of social services steps in because thats criminal neglect. If my alcoholic never lifts a finger to make things different, its neglect, and its criminal, and I'm the one that has to do things. (But oh my god, its sooooo hard to do)
Just my 2 cents
Redd
My AW is playing the game, and playing it very well indeed. She says the right things at the right time, which keeps me off balance.
However, even forgetting the years of stupid stuff she's done, lets consider the last two weeks. What has she done to make things better?
Nothing
What has she done to make things worse?
Skipped her counseling appt.
Drove drunk twice.
Passed out 8 times.
Been mean and abusive 6 times (it sorta all runs together)
Refused treatment
Lied to her daughter
Lied to me
Kept up an emotional/physical (don't really know) affair
Missed Bills
With this sort of stuff going on, you can't believe a word they say. Actions not words matter. What happens to a mother who says "I'm going to give my child a bath" and never does it? The department of social services steps in because thats criminal neglect. If my alcoholic never lifts a finger to make things different, its neglect, and its criminal, and I'm the one that has to do things. (But oh my god, its sooooo hard to do)
Just my 2 cents
Redd
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: California
Posts: 164
Redd, You are so right on. It has taken me YEARS to look at the actions and check that they match the words.
If a friend had been going though the stuff I went though I would have been able to see the b.s. but for some reason when it was happening right in my face I couldn't.
I used that awful tool of telling myself "its not that bad yet" Well it was that bad and I don't know why I sometimes find myself using that tool when I have much better ones now.
The good news is that I don't go nearly as far down the old road as I used to. Progress... baby steps...it takes what it takes. Good luck to you, I see you are moving forward.
If a friend had been going though the stuff I went though I would have been able to see the b.s. but for some reason when it was happening right in my face I couldn't.
I used that awful tool of telling myself "its not that bad yet" Well it was that bad and I don't know why I sometimes find myself using that tool when I have much better ones now.
The good news is that I don't go nearly as far down the old road as I used to. Progress... baby steps...it takes what it takes. Good luck to you, I see you are moving forward.
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