cagefree

I have been toying with attending CoDA instead of Al-Anon. I don't really feel the focus is completely on MY problem - codependency...but still has a focus on being powerless over alcohol.

I have read up a little and it sounds like a better fit for me.

Alanon's first step no longer applies anymore since it's been almost 2 years without the alcoholic in my life.
1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.

What I do feel like my first step should be is to admit I am powerless over everyone and everything but myself and what I do. CoDA's first step reflects that:
1. We admitted we were powerless over others - that our lives had become unmanageable.

Has anyone done this "switch"?

I'm curious to get other opinions and feedback from others' experiences.

The drive to the nearest CoDA meeting is about an hour - which I'm willing to do once a week. There is also an upcoming CoDA conference in my state which I'm thinking about attending as well.

CatsPajamas

I know more than one person who has found great recovery in CoDA meetings. For me, I found the help I needed in the rooms of Al Anon.

After being in Al Anon a little while, I realized that no matter what HIS problem or THEIR problem was, my problem was THEM. When I read the 12 Steps, I usually (mentally) substitute the words "people, places and things" for the word alcohol. I am powerless over just about everything. I read Melodie Beatty's Co Dependent No More and realized how incredibly co-dependent I am. That book isn't Conference Approved Literature in the rooms of Al Anon, and they don't refer to the term "co-dependent" although most of us agree that's what we are.

It's a personal choice, and I know it depends on where you are. There are some Al Anon (and Nar Anon) groups that are very strict and want to be sure you "qualify". I've been blessed to find groups that accept me as I am, struggling with the behaviours of someone else who is struggling with alcohol and/or drugs.

I hope you're able to attend the conference. I am always amazed at how much recovery I come home with... the speakers are always terrific and the fellowship is priceless. I have a goal of going to at least one a year. I don't always make it, but I'm making it more of a priority as it's such a wonderful thing to do for myself and my recovery.

I think it's important to find a group that nurtures you and supports you on your own path to recovery. As long as the group is healthy with a good mix of new comers and old timers, and you are willing to do the work on yourself to get better, you'll find success.

Cats

denny57

I have one friend who went CoDA to Al-Anon, but mainly I think because the CoDA meetings available were not very good.

Why not try the meeting and see? The alcoholic is no longer in my life, either, so today when I revisit step one, I pretty much use the CoDA version of it anyway.

Alcoholism is what got me into Al-Anon, but it is a program for me. Maybe I have unfinished business with learning why I got involved, and stayed with, the alcoholic.

I say whatever works - good luck!

hbb

I'm at that same place as you. No longer am i effected by the alcoholic and looked into CoDa nearby but never got myself there! I should go though as it would help along with seeing my therapist in that area of my life at the moment! Another reason would be that my Al Anon seems very small and redundant. I heard the same each week for several weeks.