prairie

Well the last time I was here was in December, yes I know it's been a long time. The last time I was to a meeting was in January. I havn't talked to my sponser since January either. So right now I know I was dumb to stop and feel EXTREAMLY GUILTY!!! I need these people and I dropped them from my life when things were good because I thought I was okay. Well I wasn't, I know that now and I can't do this by myself. I have watched my life deteriorate slowly over the last few months. I just don't know if I have the courage to pick up that phone, or go to that meeting. I know that many won't judge me but there are always those who do.

I have all this anger, resentment, and a huge amount of guilt that I need to let go of and lately I've been directing it at people who do not deserve it. I'm running around in circles in my head. I'm not sure where to start or what to do. So here I am. HELP!!

Chrysalis123

Hey, welcome back! You just did start, you know, by posting here. That took a lot of courage. You also had the insight to know your illness was expressing itself and here you are. I'd say those are 2 steps that will help you.

Barbara52

You can do this. Walk into that meeting, pick up that phone, or start posting here. You've made this beginning. Now just take that next single step.

Learning how

Welcome back! I have done the home study program also. Had the books, had some tools. Life got better, then stuff started to happen.... I got busy holding "things together" sponser moved, meetings were hard to get too, family stuff started to pile up I was busy keeping the world on track.... I started using the old tools a couple of years passed and I crawled back to Al-anon. They were there :ghug3
You have taken the first step.

mallowcup

Remember this, if you find the courage to walk back in to the meetings, someone else there may be faced with the same situation. It's OK to leave and come back. I bet it actually happens alot. All of the support systems that you found helpful are still right there to welcome you back. There is no standard to live up to. There are no elite at Al-anon.

Daisy30

you can do it! I know I feel better just driving in my car knowing I'm going to a meeting.

Once you get there you'll be glad you went back

YellowRed

You've made the first step by posting here and you've mentaly made the step to think about a meeting. Just pluck up the courage to go. it will never be as hard as you imagine and once you're over that step, all the angst goes away. Well done you - you deserve to look afteryourself so be good to yourself and go to that meeting.

coyote21

Try telling them just what you told us. People love hearing the truth. Those of us who have lived with active acholism haven't heard much truth...it's refreshing!

Thanks and God bless us all, :ghug2
Coyote