I Need You Guys So Badly.....
Always Hopeful
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: californication
Posts: 50
We are all creatures of habit. It's hard to leave a job, a relationship when there is comfort and we think, "safety" there. That is why we fight change because we are scared of the unknown. I have changed jobs many times, every 3 yrs. It's because things weren't perfect and I felt as though I deserved better pay or to be treated better than the mgr was treating me or I wanted a promotion and didnt get it at the current job. Every time I changed jobs, it was for the better and I got better pay and more experience. It sucks to job hunt, but it pays off. You will be OK. It will be uncomfortable during the job hunt and the goodbye period. Once you find a new job, you will be facing new challenges and you will be focused on making it. It will be a nice new adventure for you. I also found that every new job, brought about new people and some of them have become dear friends whom I go to in time of need. Work on your resume. Post in in Monster.com and CareerBuilder.com. Go to a temp agency, sign up for as many temp jobs as you can. I actually signed up with 3 temp agencies, so that kept me busy while i was in between jobs. Set your goals high. You got a lot to offer. 10 yrs in a job speaks highly of your loyalty and employers love that. Believe in yourself and sell yourself high. Start looking for management positions and more money. Don't settle for less! Wait around until the right opportunity comes, but don't settle for less. If money is an issue, you can get a waitressing job in the evenings to supplement your income. Good tips = money in your pocket and you can meet new people.
Live, Laugh, Love
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Between Fenway and the Beach!
Posts: 1,301
WOW you guys are awesome!
I woke up this morning a bit angry. I literally was given 15 minutes of their time after being with them through THICK and THIN for almost 10 years. I've been with them through major (still) illness and a family destroyed with an affair. I know there is no easy way but i guess if they REALLY wanted me to go like they "claim" they do, than I would have been given some incentive to go with them.
I'm not sure how to go about this, I've been playing out every scenario in my head. Do i let them believe I'm going for a while till i get my affairs in order or do i tell them? I think they are banking on me telling them I'm not going so this new girl knows sooner. I don't know what to do. I have so many questions, need to know about health insurance, unemployment. I did look on line as to the qualifications on unemployment and basically relocation was not one that they don't accept.
I"m at a loss, i keep bursting into tears, my boss that I'm sooo close to has been avoiding me and left while i was in the bathroom trying to control myself yesterday. Coward, i have no respect at the moment.....like I'm a piece of dirt.....BUT i need a reference so it's a catch 22
I woke up this morning a bit angry. I literally was given 15 minutes of their time after being with them through THICK and THIN for almost 10 years. I've been with them through major (still) illness and a family destroyed with an affair. I know there is no easy way but i guess if they REALLY wanted me to go like they "claim" they do, than I would have been given some incentive to go with them.
I'm not sure how to go about this, I've been playing out every scenario in my head. Do i let them believe I'm going for a while till i get my affairs in order or do i tell them? I think they are banking on me telling them I'm not going so this new girl knows sooner. I don't know what to do. I have so many questions, need to know about health insurance, unemployment. I did look on line as to the qualifications on unemployment and basically relocation was not one that they don't accept.
I"m at a loss, i keep bursting into tears, my boss that I'm sooo close to has been avoiding me and left while i was in the bathroom trying to control myself yesterday. Coward, i have no respect at the moment.....like I'm a piece of dirt.....BUT i need a reference so it's a catch 22
Recovering Codependant
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Liverpool, Great Britain
Posts: 1,335
Heather, if you don't feel like it is the right time to tell them then don't. You need to do what keeps your serenity. That's what were are learning about when dealing with our A's but it applys to all of our life. Take care of you first and foremost.
I know how you fell about telling them. When I left my horrid job where I had to commute for an hour, I was so worried about telling them I was searching for something else. My manager was not particulary nice and always dumped the horrid jobs on me to do. I felt that if I told her I was going, there would be no restriction on how much crap I was dealt each day until I found somewhere else, which could have been months!
I did not tell her I was leaving. I needed a reference, so I stated her on my job applications. Most new employers only want references to check when they offer out a job. Which is the end of the process, by then you will know if you have applied somewhere as you would have had the interview or it will be pending.
Fill out your resume and post it off, or post on line as suggested. If employers come back to you with an offer of a job, or if you complete an application, then state your employer as a reference.
I told my employer I was leaving when I was contacted by my interviewer telling me I had got the job. They told me in the letter that all that was left to do was check my references, pending that I was good to go. So I went in the next day and told her. She was actually glad for me.
If you feel you need more info before you are comfortable sharing your ideas theh do that. This is your life, do as what feels good for you.
Lily xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I know how you fell about telling them. When I left my horrid job where I had to commute for an hour, I was so worried about telling them I was searching for something else. My manager was not particulary nice and always dumped the horrid jobs on me to do. I felt that if I told her I was going, there would be no restriction on how much crap I was dealt each day until I found somewhere else, which could have been months!
I did not tell her I was leaving. I needed a reference, so I stated her on my job applications. Most new employers only want references to check when they offer out a job. Which is the end of the process, by then you will know if you have applied somewhere as you would have had the interview or it will be pending.
Fill out your resume and post it off, or post on line as suggested. If employers come back to you with an offer of a job, or if you complete an application, then state your employer as a reference.
I told my employer I was leaving when I was contacted by my interviewer telling me I had got the job. They told me in the letter that all that was left to do was check my references, pending that I was good to go. So I went in the next day and told her. She was actually glad for me.
If you feel you need more info before you are comfortable sharing your ideas theh do that. This is your life, do as what feels good for you.
Lily xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I Finally Love My Life!!!
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: New England
Posts: 648
I am always on the lookout for a better job/position.
I'm applying to a position now and when I'm there and gaining the experience I want, I'll still be looking to see what's out there.
I wouldn't feel bad for simply seeing what's available to you. Most decent employers expect their employees to be looking for positions and ways to improve their professional development.
I don't feel the need to tell my manager when I'm looking, because she knows I am ALWAYS looking.
I'm applying to a position now and when I'm there and gaining the experience I want, I'll still be looking to see what's out there.
I wouldn't feel bad for simply seeing what's available to you. Most decent employers expect their employees to be looking for positions and ways to improve their professional development.
I don't feel the need to tell my manager when I'm looking, because she knows I am ALWAYS looking.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: southern cal
Posts: 84
(((Heather)))
Sorry I'm late to chime in but I agree with many of the posts and have also been in the same predicament.
As "codie" behavior, we sometimes "give all that we have" to a company, like a guy, for the appreciation we hope to receive in return. I've done it, heck, I STILL do it.
It feels good to be needed. Plain and simple.
I've been laid off twice also, like FD mentioned, and each time, I went onto a new opportunity that was somehow better in many ways than the last....but you don't know that or feel that until you are settled in to that new opportunity, and reflect upon your journey.
Don't be resentful of your company.....they are in business to STAY in business. You may be an incredible asset to them, but think of the big picture strategy. You might have done the same thing if you were management. Perhaps not. Maybe they are a company of screwballs who don't know how to run a business? Well, then it's good that you are leaving. Either way, it's not your fault. Kinda like the whole addict thing....you didn't cause it, can't control it....you get the picture.
Take this experience, and learn what you can about being as versatile and flexible in your industry as possible. Make THIS the springboard to learning new skills, getting out and networking and though you are being "forced" into a change of corporate scenery, consider it a blessing in disguise.
Life has wonderful things in store for you. Stay open and positive to accept them.
Let us know how you are faring.
hugs,
rivka
Sorry I'm late to chime in but I agree with many of the posts and have also been in the same predicament.
As "codie" behavior, we sometimes "give all that we have" to a company, like a guy, for the appreciation we hope to receive in return. I've done it, heck, I STILL do it.
It feels good to be needed. Plain and simple.
I've been laid off twice also, like FD mentioned, and each time, I went onto a new opportunity that was somehow better in many ways than the last....but you don't know that or feel that until you are settled in to that new opportunity, and reflect upon your journey.
Don't be resentful of your company.....they are in business to STAY in business. You may be an incredible asset to them, but think of the big picture strategy. You might have done the same thing if you were management. Perhaps not. Maybe they are a company of screwballs who don't know how to run a business? Well, then it's good that you are leaving. Either way, it's not your fault. Kinda like the whole addict thing....you didn't cause it, can't control it....you get the picture.
Take this experience, and learn what you can about being as versatile and flexible in your industry as possible. Make THIS the springboard to learning new skills, getting out and networking and though you are being "forced" into a change of corporate scenery, consider it a blessing in disguise.
Life has wonderful things in store for you. Stay open and positive to accept them.
Let us know how you are faring.
hugs,
rivka
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 22
Hi - for what it's worth, I can relate to your post...moved to a new country 5 years ago and it has taken me 5 years (and a couple of different jobs!) to find the one that is perfect for me (which I almost didn't apply for because I never thought I would be considered for it, thought I would be rejected before the interview stage)...I am happier than I have been in a long time professionally, and I now realize (or at least, this is how I make sense of it for myself) that I had to go through those not-so-great jobs, feelings of apprehension, risk, fear - to get where I am right now.
God (or hp, or the universe,or karma, whoever/whatever it is for you) may be closing a door for you right now but opening a window at the same time, and encouraging you to fly...good luck!!!
God (or hp, or the universe,or karma, whoever/whatever it is for you) may be closing a door for you right now but opening a window at the same time, and encouraging you to fly...good luck!!!
I Finally Love My Life!!!
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: New England
Posts: 648
Originally Posted by rivka 
Either way, it's not your fault. Kinda like the whole addict thing....you didn't cause it, can't control it....you get the picture.
Personally, I'm like FD and love a long commute since it's my time alone to unwind - as long as I enjoy the job.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Arlington, VA
Posts: 4,290
Hey Heather,
Looks like I'll be joining you in the job hunting. Found out today my contract is not likely to be renewed in Oct. Oh well. I hate the job hunting process but I am looking forward to a new opportunity.
Looks like I'll be joining you in the job hunting. Found out today my contract is not likely to be renewed in Oct. Oh well. I hate the job hunting process but I am looking forward to a new opportunity.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 37
hugs to you sweetie! well, first of all you need a plan. Plan A, go with the company and start a new life 1 1/2hrs away, B) ask for a raise, a substantial one to cover the commute, C) start getting your resume, interview clothes, and polish up those interview skills. I too first read this as a new beginning. And you could include that you were an office manager. the "manager" part looks very good on resumes. Get your game plan ready. You need to think clearly and get your game on girl. This could be a chance of lifetime for you! I know it can be stressful, but think about the long range on this one. Good luck and keep us posted! 
Live, Laugh, Love
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Between Fenway and the Beach!
Posts: 1,301
First off Hugs to you (((Barb))) but you sound positive! Good for you!
I came in this morning and had a long meeting with my boss, much needed after the way things were left on Monday. I told him that i didn't really feel as though he respected me at the time for all i have done and he apologized for leaving so quickly. I told him i didn't deserve that treatment. Then we moved onto the commute and what incentive would be to go. Long and short is that i know it's my time to move on. I found out i will be getting my bonus for this past year and i asked if i DID leave about insurance so he's finding out about a severance but said it wouldn't be much...whatever!
So i went to my parents and my mum agreed that them compensating would only really be covering gas and the bonus they say I'd be definitely getting, i should be getting anyway without it being included in this move!!! Time for a fresh start...scary, but it's time
I spent last night on Monster and Craigslist, i think I'd be interested in working for a Dr's office, medical or hospital. That interests me.
Things are getting slightly clearer! Last night my mom told me i should go home and work on my resume i told her i NEEDED to spin to get out aggression and it worked!!!
I came in this morning and had a long meeting with my boss, much needed after the way things were left on Monday. I told him that i didn't really feel as though he respected me at the time for all i have done and he apologized for leaving so quickly. I told him i didn't deserve that treatment. Then we moved onto the commute and what incentive would be to go. Long and short is that i know it's my time to move on. I found out i will be getting my bonus for this past year and i asked if i DID leave about insurance so he's finding out about a severance but said it wouldn't be much...whatever!
So i went to my parents and my mum agreed that them compensating would only really be covering gas and the bonus they say I'd be definitely getting, i should be getting anyway without it being included in this move!!! Time for a fresh start...scary, but it's time
I spent last night on Monster and Craigslist, i think I'd be interested in working for a Dr's office, medical or hospital. That interests me.
Things are getting slightly clearer! Last night my mom told me i should go home and work on my resume i told her i NEEDED to spin
to get out aggression and it worked!!!
Live, Laugh, Love
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Between Fenway and the Beach!
Posts: 1,301
I have to say that last night i became somewhat excited! I'm starting to think that this is the best thing that could have happened for me to start fresh with a whole new beginning and millions of choices!! Having my meeting yesterday and pretty much seeing that they "want me to go" but in the end i knew that they are looking out for themselves....now it's my turn for once
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
Good for you, Heather!!!
Anvil sent me something once, that talked about embracing uncertainty. It reminded me that there is just as much of a chance of things going GOOD as there is of them going bad. I always focused on the worst-case-scenario.
Now, I'm learning to do what I can do (my part), and let it go. Darned if it hasn't worked out pretty darn good every time!!
Put that excitement into your resume and your interviews, and there's no stopping you! You have a lot to offer, and any employer would be lucky to have you.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
Anvil sent me something once, that talked about embracing uncertainty. It reminded me that there is just as much of a chance of things going GOOD as there is of them going bad. I always focused on the worst-case-scenario.
Now, I'm learning to do what I can do (my part), and let it go. Darned if it hasn't worked out pretty darn good every time!!
Put that excitement into your resume and your interviews, and there's no stopping you! You have a lot to offer, and any employer would be lucky to have you.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
Live, Laugh, Love
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Between Fenway and the Beach!
Posts: 1,301
Thank you! I appreciate all the kind words
I remember my mother saying that i needed to "get out of my comfort zone" when i joined Match.com and in hindsight, things may not have worked out yet there but I'm sure glad i joined. Well, I'm using that same attitude for this. I may not find anything right away and that's ok, i won't be destitute or on the streets. I will be ok, and like you guys say, it will probably be SO much better this time around!
I remember my mother saying that i needed to "get out of my comfort zone" when i joined Match.com and in hindsight, things may not have worked out yet there but I'm sure glad i joined. Well, I'm using that same attitude for this. I may not find anything right away and that's ok, i won't be destitute or on the streets. I will be ok, and like you guys say, it will probably be SO much better this time around!
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Chicago IL
Posts: 184
I'm jealous...look at all the positive changes in your life over the last few months...maybe not the way you would of chosen to make a change, but still some real great choices! You are definately headed in the right direction...Rock on! 
Live, Laugh, Love
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Between Fenway and the Beach!
Posts: 1,301
I'm certainly not perfect and happy all the time but unfortunately my dad is sick and it's shown me that there could be ALOT worse things going on in my life and to stop sweating the small stuff.
Theotherone, you will get there. I've been up and down SO many hills it's not even funny. And still going up and down. If this work change would have happened to me last year with my J fiasco, i'm sure i would be in a padded cell right about now but it happened now so there must be a reason
Theotherone, you will get there. I've been up and down SO many hills it's not even funny. And still going up and down. If this work change would have happened to me last year with my J fiasco, i'm sure i would be in a padded cell right about now but it happened now so there must be a reason
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Wales
Posts: 523
Hey Heather, sorry to hear your news. Same thing happend to me two years ago wow what a panic a mortgage two kids, a car loan and a bloody alcoholic to look after. Within 3 weeks i had another job (a better one) apparently us codies make excellent employees.
the world's your oyster.
Mair xx
the world's your oyster.
Mair xx
Live, Laugh, Love
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Between Fenway and the Beach!
Posts: 1,301
Originally Posted by cagefree
It felt good to say that...didn't it 
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