Holiday's with my A

Old 07-26-2008, 06:59 PM
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Location: Canada
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Holiday's with my A

Im so frustrated tonight, my A has been on and off binges for the last few years. He's at the point now where his last binge lasted 3 weeks.
Im on 2 weeks holidays which i so desperately needed and he's drinking. He's raging tonite.
I so tired of dealing with his crap. I really need a holiday from him.
lately I keep thinking of divorce....i mean really, Im starting to go through the steps in my mind.
contacting a lawyer......division of property....just getting it done and over with.
He's been calling other women again.....which is part of his pattern.......
he makes me so angry. I try not to respond.
but it's so hard to function at all at home with a raging alcoholic always in my face.
thinking of the steps is a big step for me because i always freeze at the first step.......leaving my used to frighten me so much.
but ive been exploring that in my mind now.
If anyone has any real advice as to the first steps to take to get out of the situation that would be greatly appreciated.
It's getting to the point where I really need to seriously consider a plan.
thank you all
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Old 07-26-2008, 07:19 PM
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Dayton, Ohio
Posts: 2,305

My heart goes out to you, Sally.

My first husband wasn't an alcoholic but things got to the point that one Sat. morning when our son was about two and a half years old, after my now ex left for work, I packed up Brandon's diaper bag and a few paper grocery bags full of his clothes and one of mine and fled. I was fortunate enough to be able to go to my Mom's house to stay for awhile.

I don't really have any words of wisdom on the subject, but I can suggest what helps me the most when anything is troubling me . . . Prayer.

I'm sure others will come along with thoughts and suggestions as to how to put your plan in place, but I wanted you to know that you are not alone. And you can get away from it and live the life you deserve without putting up with this abuse any longer. I did and millions of others have too. So don't give up.

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Old 07-26-2008, 07:33 PM
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Beautiful Texas hillcountry
Posts: 1,272
Hi Sally

My aexw used to tell me that I ruined every holliday for 11 years. She was right, I dreaded those no-holds-barred drunkfests with every fiber of my being. I would become antsey weeks before any holiday, it was truly awful for everyone around me.

I had a problem, I could of easly divorced her, I couldn't divorce my precious daughter.

I began to pray to my new found higher power and the twists and turns that resulted in sole custody of a 5yo girl by a 50 something man amazed me. The only explanation is devine intervention.

By the way, we lost everything, our home our vehicles (I was 55 and had my beautiful red silverado repoed by a neighbor for a debt my wife had incurred behind my back, I'd owned a vehicle since i was 15!)

I had to be willing to let go of all my stuff. And guess what, I didn't need all that stuff! We had a 2 story house over 100 yrs old, dd and I have a 1 br apt now, my bed is in the living room and I drive a tiny pickup w 175k that I just paid $1000 to one of our guardian angels for and guess what, Ive never been happier in my life.

Life is really good on the other side, only took a year or so and believe time flies at 55!

You've been around here for 6 years, I know yoiu know what to do. Just takes a leap of faith. Now when I contact my higher power and I don't get exactly what I want almost immeadiatly, I just smile and wonder "what have You got up your sleve for me now"? Ha!

I have all the faith in the world in you,
God Bless us all,
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Old 07-27-2008, 06:02 PM
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Sunny Side Up
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Sth Australia
Posts: 3,802
Coyote!! Your post touched me. You are an amazing person and there should more of you in this world.
Sally use this advise. I think all things happen for a reason even though we dont know why at the time. We all come out at the other end somehow.
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