gottaquitthis

I sure you all have seen dozens of stories but here it another one. I just need to write this story through, maybe it might help me see something, I also need someone to listen to my story and give me honest feedback and I think this site might be a good place since its anonymous. I hope I can help someone else.


I met him on the internet, I wasn't really looking for someone on the internet, I was playing around because I had found a friend posted on one of those sites and I was trying to connect with him through the site to tease him. Jerry saw my post and replied, said he joined just to be able to talk to me and said he was a good man. There was no profile but he did send a picture. No profile maybe should have been a red flag, he didn't feel he needed to fill out a profile which matches with the current problems we have, part of our problem stems from the relationship being one sided, his side, he doesn't feel he has to do anything he doesn't want to do in a relationship, doesn't need to bend, sometimes give more than he gets, its all about him, not about what I need. When I have needs we struggle. Anyway, I asked him about not having a profile, got no reply just more info about how good a person he was. I thought I'm gonna keep asking, I thought he was sorta good looking so I kept talking with him online. He sent me a video and gosh, he seemed like such a hick. I don't know why but I decided to call him and see what he was like that way before I let it go. On the phone he was great. and kept talking to him online, I thought he was sort of a hick but a nice hick, he was very affirming, kept saying things that made me feel like he would take care of me my feelings were important to him at least it seemed to like that. We kept writing and talking on the phone for awhile and it was nice finding out all the things we had in common. After a month or two he asked if he could meet me, he was gonna be in my neck of the woods for Easter and could we have dinner. I agreed, we met, I was nervous, I think he was too but it was also pretty easy and he wasn't pushy, my gut told me right away that he was harmless so we ended up at my place to visit into the night. He did most of the talking and I found him to be sorta boring but he was nice and I didn't want to dismiss a nice guy, I felt he was worth having some fun with, going out with again. Strangely, that night he asked to start a relationship with me and I was taken back, I said, nooo, noway, I'm not there, I just want to have some fun, don't want anything serious, don't want to fall in love, I said "where there is love there is pain" and he just could not understand how I could feel that way but didn't pursue it with me or ask questions, he just didn't get it, didn't want to get it. At that time, I had pretty much decided to live life single and I was ok with that. I had been through several long term relationship, no worked well in the long run and several ended badly. I didn't think I wanted to fall love again, ever.... I just wanted to have friends to have fun with. Anyway, he said, ok, lets be friends. I realized that night he didn't drink and not really thinking about it deeper, I thought, well I wouldn't have to worry about being with a drunk, he doesn't drink, even though I knew he had drank excessively in his past. "Red flag" Anyway, the date was over, we agreed to see each other again and he gave a little peck goodbye, it was nice, he dropped back over later in the weekend and brought my horses some good hay and show me a picture of his son, just a brief visit. He headed back home and we kept emailing and talking on the phone. So far so good, right?

more to come......gotta