dor5711

Things have been calm for the last couple of weeks. My SO has been living with his mom and brother. I spoke to him last week and he was doing really well, had gotten some work and needed to come by and pick up some tools. That was fine -- I just asked him to call so I expected him and he didn't just show up. Never got a call. So he calls tonight and he's crying on the phone that he can't live with his mom anymore, he just can't take it, they are crazy, etc. And my response was "be thankful that your mom is allowing you to live there and not on the street". He was also slurring his words.......he says it's the medication they have him on and -- not in his defense....but I absolutely don't think his mom or brother would allow him to stay there if he was drinking. They won't even give him money for gas since they are afraid what might happen. So that was also the lament....he doesn't even have money for gas, etc. I bluntly told him to stop the pity party and be grateful for what he has and that I won't talk to him if he is feeling sorry for himself. And I hung up the phone.

Yeah for me!
Doreen

thiswebs4u

Don't know if I would be proud of myself for hanging up the phone. Maybe I read this wrong.

dor5711

The way I look at it is that I told him I wouldn't talk to him if all I heard was the woe is me and I did tell him I was hanging up -- I didn't just slam down the phone. I didn't need or want to hear the "help me" manipulative stuff over and over again. It's not my problem.

Barbara52

Good for you! Bet it felt good not to get drawn into his pity party. {hugs}

bookwyrm

Well done for stepping away from the dance/drama! Keep strong!

Lilyflower

Good for you Dor!!!

Lily xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Rella927

What a grand feeling when we can hang up and still be ok
after we have! The feeling of not involving ourselves in the
chaos is wonderful!

Good for you Dor!

grateful2b

can't say it better than Rella did,
good job on detaching Dor,!

SugarLily

How strong of you!

He may not like living with his mum but that's his situation at present. He should make best of it.

My ex certainly does not like living at his mums, he keeps "turning up" at my parents house where I live now. (My dad works abroad alternating months)

I keep reminding myself that if it weren't for his drinking that turned us into financial ruin we may have a house. He is living the consequences of his actions.

Much the same as your SO. (if I am guessing correctly) His choices and his actions led him to the living arrangement he has now.

dor5711

Yup if it wasn't for his drinking we would be living together and having a good life. It was his choice to pick up after 16 years sober. And it's his choice as to how he wants to live the rest of his life.

Thanks to all,
Doreen