stillsearching

Well, I found out the other day that my AH is drinking before he goes to work, he is a cop. I admitted it to me, saying it was stupid to do. I told him he needs to get help, that this is just totally out of control. He has been off the last 2 days and now he is just acting like nothing happened or was said. It's the same game again and again, well, she caught me again, so I better act like I have stopped or cut back....till this one blows over, blah, blah, blah.

I am torn on what I should do, do I report him to his work?? He really has no right to endanger the others that work with him, let alone people out in the public. I know that I can't control him, and I am wondering if by reporting him that is what I am trying to do...but another part of me says, it's against the law, he is endangering others.

The other part of me says, I should just tell him to leave, enough is enough, I have really caught onto the game this time....any help advise is appreciated!!!!!

ToughChoices

You are not being controlling.
You are simply (rightly) concerned for the safety of other innocent people.

I think that you should report your husband.

I know that it is a very difficult thing to do, but sometimes the right thing is difficult.

You have no obligation to protect your husband from the natural consequences of his own bad choices.

I'll pray for strength for you today. Take care.

-TC

Lilyflower

This was my thought too. His job means that others are at risk, it is not just a case of him feeling his own consequences, I mean if someone was hurt someone else's family could be caught up in this chaos.

Lily xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

SugarLily

Yes I agree, what would happen if he did have an accident and others are hurt through this?

Its a horrible situation to be in, could you raise the issue anonymously?

justanothrdrunk

How would you feel if you did nothing, and then an innocent victim was hurt or killed due to his drinking on the job that you could have perhaps prevented?

Sounds like he needs help. Reporting him is helping.

stillsearching

thank you guys, this is very hard for me, but, I did not create what is going on, he did. He is off until Sat and I have told him that if he does not get help, that I will report before he goes back to work. I pray for the strength to follow through, but, I can't let it continue...

warrens

SS

You have been handed a moral dilemma that you did not seek. It is a very difficult one.

Others who responded mean well. From afar the answer seems simple. And it isn't the wrong answer.

Reporting him will no doubt have its consequences. The consequences could rain down from the heavens.

I think your last post is perhaps the best strategy. I think both you and he may need a last chance to avoid this crisis. At least then you can say to both him and yourself that you tried. You sincerely tried.

A very difficult situation. I really admire you for your courage and your character.

warren

ToughChoices

I'm all for "one last chance" - but I know how well it worked for my A.
Prepare yourself for the possibility of having to report him.

This may well be a catalyst for change in his life.
If it is not, then you will be ready to take appropriate action.

-TC

Kindeyes

You are in such a tough spot. I can't advise you. Doing so would be taking your situation and placing it on my own shoulders (and I'm trying to stop doing that ;-).

Whatever you decide to do, be prepared for what may come......whether you decide to report him or not......either way........there could be some very difficult issues arise.

Take care of YOU.

gentle hugs

Shivaya

Stillsearching,

No doubt about it...this is an extremely uncomfortable situation to say the least.

Have you thought about making an anonymous call to the police station? If your husband is out patrolling and interacting with the general public while he is intoxicated, certainly a concerned citizen could make a call....

Wishing you strength in handling this....


Shivaya

sailorjohn

Thinking that the department, like many large orgs, has full time staff dedicated to handling such issues confidentially, you might want to approach these folks first. Just a thought.

stillsearching

it is a small dept, they have no services like you posted about, I wish they did. I can't say that he is "intoxicated" while working, the last few days were probably around 1-2 shots about 1/2 or so before going to work, he always carrys breath mints, strips, gum with him. a normal person would probably feel a "buzz" drinking that, but I think it takes alot more for him than that now

Lilyflower

Wishing you strength and wisdom in dealing with this, it is a tough one and I don't envy your position,

Blessings
Lily xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx