nightmares
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: oh
Posts: 757
nightmares
is anyone else having nightmares? i find myself having very vivid nightmares about my ah and they are very scary and disturbing.
i have had one in which he was over me in bed with a pillow and going to smother me and i am begging him not to.
last night i had one in which he was trying to strangle me with his hands on my neck.
these nightmares are extremely vivid and feel so very real. they are very disturbing. i wake up sweating, heart racing, or crying.
i think the most resent one was a result of him forcing himself on me the other night as i described in my other thread. it was an awful experience.
how do i get rid of these? i know they are probably a result of the trauma and abuse i have suffered. is this post tramatic stress ?
sidenote - i am leaving ah at home by himself to deal with the realtor he asked over today. i think it is time that he start taking some responsibility for some of this and feeling the stress and reality of the situation like i have. all of that is just material stuff to me right now. it means nothing to me right now.
i have had one in which he was over me in bed with a pillow and going to smother me and i am begging him not to.
last night i had one in which he was trying to strangle me with his hands on my neck.
these nightmares are extremely vivid and feel so very real. they are very disturbing. i wake up sweating, heart racing, or crying.
i think the most resent one was a result of him forcing himself on me the other night as i described in my other thread. it was an awful experience.
how do i get rid of these? i know they are probably a result of the trauma and abuse i have suffered. is this post tramatic stress ?
sidenote - i am leaving ah at home by himself to deal with the realtor he asked over today. i think it is time that he start taking some responsibility for some of this and feeling the stress and reality of the situation like i have. all of that is just material stuff to me right now. it means nothing to me right now.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Arlington, VA
Posts: 4,290
No I haven't experienced any nightmares but I've heard it said that dreams ingeneral are you subconcious trying to work thru things. Perhaps discuss the dreams with a therapist to help you understnad what is going on?
Recovering Codependant
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Liverpool, Great Britain
Posts: 1,335
Hi there hopeangel, I too went through nightmares towards the end of my relationship with my exabf. Now that we have separated they have stopped.
I would often wake up crying, sweating or calling out. For me it was apparent that all my insecurity, stress and nervousness I was feeling during the day was manifesting itself in my dreams at night. I would often still feel exhausted during they day because sleep was no rest for me.
I believe that dreams are a way for our subconcious mind to communicate with us, help us make sense of issues and to show or tell us what we may be avoiding as well as a tool our mind uses to share the joy and happiness we feel in our daily lives.
As a sufferer of depression I know that disturbed sleep is a sign that I am not healthy in my self. That I am over burdened and that I need to concentrate on harmonising my energy, focusing my positivities and taking some loving care of myself.
In general, without nurturing undisturbed sleep, the human mind finds it difficult to concentrate, remember things, to think logically and constructively, often accompanied by nervousness, irritability, change in appitite and other forms of stress.
Please take some time for you, perhaps you need to get away from it all for a short time to help you refocus? Or you could try a bath with essential oils to help you unwind and become more peaceful before bedtime, I like to drink hot milk or a malty drink before going to sleep.
Hope you sleep better tonight,
Blessings
Lily xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I would often wake up crying, sweating or calling out. For me it was apparent that all my insecurity, stress and nervousness I was feeling during the day was manifesting itself in my dreams at night. I would often still feel exhausted during they day because sleep was no rest for me.
I believe that dreams are a way for our subconcious mind to communicate with us, help us make sense of issues and to show or tell us what we may be avoiding as well as a tool our mind uses to share the joy and happiness we feel in our daily lives.
As a sufferer of depression I know that disturbed sleep is a sign that I am not healthy in my self. That I am over burdened and that I need to concentrate on harmonising my energy, focusing my positivities and taking some loving care of myself.
In general, without nurturing undisturbed sleep, the human mind finds it difficult to concentrate, remember things, to think logically and constructively, often accompanied by nervousness, irritability, change in appitite and other forms of stress.
Please take some time for you, perhaps you need to get away from it all for a short time to help you refocus? Or you could try a bath with essential oils to help you unwind and become more peaceful before bedtime, I like to drink hot milk or a malty drink before going to sleep.
Hope you sleep better tonight,
Blessings
Lily xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 902
I've been having terrible dreams. This week has been especially difficult. I had one last night.
I was at some horse race with Katie Holmes (of all people, I'll explain why I think she came up later) and a bunch of people kept coming because they heard she was there. They said since she was rich she could buy all the drinks. At some point he showed up with his brother and another person I didn't recognize. He told me he loved me and that he missed me. I told Katie and she said she it was good he came to find me because it showed he cared. She then said she was upset at all the people who showed up because she felt like they were using her.
He stayed with me for a while. I don't know where his brother and the other person went. Then he started drinking. I begged him not to. He said it was fine. I stopped begging and he got really drunk. Then he started picking up on other women.
I woke up pretty upset because I felt like I had been left again. I've been missing him a lot today and trying to distract myself (I actually had no choice because I started a new job, so all smiles like nothing was wrong) but on the train home I lost it and cried all the way home (I seem to like to do that on the train).
One of my therapist years ago used to do dream interpretation with me. She said everything in your dream represents you. So I think Katie Holmes is the part of me that just wants him to be with me at all times no matter what the cost, even if his feelings are not genuine (she seems more like a robot these days with her husband). The brother, I think symbolizes family and being alone here, which is really hard right now. His actions after telling me he loved me represents my feelings of betrayal during the relationship because I didn't know for a long time about his drinking.
That's the best I can come up with after a long day in a new place. At least I can cry in the privacy of my own home now and hope my eyes are not puffy golf balls tomorrow.
I was at some horse race with Katie Holmes (of all people, I'll explain why I think she came up later) and a bunch of people kept coming because they heard she was there. They said since she was rich she could buy all the drinks. At some point he showed up with his brother and another person I didn't recognize. He told me he loved me and that he missed me. I told Katie and she said she it was good he came to find me because it showed he cared. She then said she was upset at all the people who showed up because she felt like they were using her.
He stayed with me for a while. I don't know where his brother and the other person went. Then he started drinking. I begged him not to. He said it was fine. I stopped begging and he got really drunk. Then he started picking up on other women.
I woke up pretty upset because I felt like I had been left again. I've been missing him a lot today and trying to distract myself (I actually had no choice because I started a new job, so all smiles like nothing was wrong) but on the train home I lost it and cried all the way home (I seem to like to do that on the train).
One of my therapist years ago used to do dream interpretation with me. She said everything in your dream represents you. So I think Katie Holmes is the part of me that just wants him to be with me at all times no matter what the cost, even if his feelings are not genuine (she seems more like a robot these days with her husband). The brother, I think symbolizes family and being alone here, which is really hard right now. His actions after telling me he loved me represents my feelings of betrayal during the relationship because I didn't know for a long time about his drinking.
That's the best I can come up with after a long day in a new place. At least I can cry in the privacy of my own home now and hope my eyes are not puffy golf balls tomorrow.
play the tape all the way thru
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 480
I have terrible nightmares too. Mine are more about the situation regarding my son. Long story there that I don't want to go into.
Lately I have been having dreams of being torchered and mutilated. So sick I know. Something I need to figure out soon as it's been too much for me to handle.
Lately I have been having dreams of being torchered and mutilated. So sick I know. Something I need to figure out soon as it's been too much for me to handle.
Recovering Codependant
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Liverpool, Great Britain
Posts: 1,335
This is turning out to be a very interesting topic. I still dream from time to time about the ex. Now my dreams are not as stressful and disturbing. For example, I dreamt that I came home from work and he was in my house, visiting he said. Then as I walked around the house i noticed he had made quite a mess so I told him that we had new house rules now about tidying up after ourselves as soon as we had finished with something. He gave me his old answer ''I'll sort it later'', I remember feeling that he hasn't changed and will have to leave again, then the dream ended.
I think this type of dream symbolises my hope that we will be able to reconcile our relationship at some point in the future (him coming back to the house), but my fear that the problems we had will still be there (his lack of action when I approached him with my new boundary).
Lily xxxxxxxxxxx
I think this type of dream symbolises my hope that we will be able to reconcile our relationship at some point in the future (him coming back to the house), but my fear that the problems we had will still be there (his lack of action when I approached him with my new boundary).
Lily xxxxxxxxxxx
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: oh
Posts: 757
once again, i'm glad to know i'm not alone in this. it is very interesting. hopefully just facing the issue will help. i always said that the best part of being married was having someone next to you to hold onto when you have a bad dream. it hurts to wake up and noone be there 
this is probably one of my big fears of being alone.
this is probably one of my big fears of being alone.
CindeRella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life!
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Hope 
I had them when I first split with the X (2 years ago) but, I do agree with Barb on that it was when I was working out other issues in my life along with him-(He was physically and emotionally abusive beyond his own control so that made the nighmares worse!
Hang in there This too shall pass
I had them when I first split with the X (2 years ago) but, I do agree with Barb on that it was when I was working out other issues in my life along with him-(He was physically and emotionally abusive beyond his own control so that made the nighmares worse!
Hang in there This too shall pass
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Minneapolis, Mn. Minnesota Alligator Controll
Posts: 286
Here ya go, this book grew legs and hid behind the book shelf
I knew I had it but just found it.
The dictionary of DREAMS
10,000 DREAMS INTERPRETED
Gustavus Hindman Miller
VERY INTERESTING AND INSIGHTFUL
I knew I had it but just found it.
The dictionary of DREAMS
10,000 DREAMS INTERPRETED
Gustavus Hindman Miller
VERY INTERESTING AND INSIGHTFUL
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 444
Interesting timing -- made me remember a nightmare I had last night that I almost forgot. I was running a 10K race, and was near the finish. But, I couldn't run anymore so I was crawling on my hands and knees, it was sandy (like a beach) and my nose was bleeding and dripping on everything. . . . I only hope that means that even though the going is tough -- that I am almost finished.
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