abcdefg

I broke up with XABF one month ago and I went on a date tonight. Actually, it was a "meet" from an online dating site.

I have never moved this quickly after any breakup. But I'm just not willing to wait two years to get over the whole mess. I'm comfortable (even if I'm sad) with the choice to end the relationship because it was not meeting my needs. I'm pretty clear on what those needs are, so why not step out into the world and ask for what I want? I did have to call my sponsor because I had a last minute panic that I was rebounding but we agreed that I wasn't. I really did do a lot of work IN the former relationship to be done with it.

Anyway, there wasn't really a connection between myself and this new person but I'm really proud of myself because dating has historically TERRIFIED me. But I suited up and showed up, prayed all the way to Starbucks and did it differently this time.

The man was nice, polite, seemed fairly stable (not that I could tell too much from a few emails and an hour over coffee) but the main thing was that it was a fairly pleasant encounter. Not particularly dramatic which I LOVED! I just got there and tried to keep and open mind and I really let go of feeling like I was supposed to entertain him or fix those uncomfortable lulls in conversation.

Anyway, I'm not sure if I want to see him again but I feel so relieved that my first meet since letting go of my BF did not spiral me into a horrible bout of despair. Instead, I felt like a grown up. Two adults meeting and having decent conversation but seeing that they have nothing really significant in common.

It was no big deal and I LOVE THAT!

thatoneguy

Kudos abc, and for what it's worth, it certainly doesn't sound as though you're rebounding.

angelfromheaven

Well done!!! I think it is great to go out looking, even if you may not find the One, it is great for your confidence and just plein fun.

peaceteach

Thanks for sharing this ABCDEFG. I'm impressed with your courage and confidence.

howatch

Hey well done. Dating is terrifying anyway (!) but it sounds like you are doing really, really well.

lexusgirl

I think thats great abc! I too am impressed by your confidence and being able to recognize what it is that you need for YOU!

DESIGNER

Good job in taking a very big step. I have decided that I am going to give myself one more month and i am going to try eharmony. I am scared but I think that honestly it is the only way to meet people now a days!!!

really_fed_up

DESIGNER

Well it depends how they match you....if they do it by how similiar your views are well then I would have to say that my xabf and I would probaby not be matched and prob not be allowed in the same chat room!!! LOL

abcdefg

wow, thank you ALL for such outstanding support. i really appreciate it.

the thing anvil said about a series of short terms, that's kind of what i'm interested in doing. just take the drama out of dating, which i have never been able to do before. i despise the whole experience (and i don't trust anyone who claims to "enjoy" dating -- i figure it means they're a sex addict!) but it is a necessary part of social interaction.

so i'm hoping to de-mysitfy the process.

WAIT...did i say PROCESS????????

:rof

how fascinating.

p.s. i had some tea, anvil -- and burned my tongue on that d*mn hot water they serve, which was the only really bummer of the evening!!

hbb

YAY!! Good for you! I just went out 2 weeks ago on a first date and it was refeshing, no drama or chaos like you said have fun with it. Even if they are not "the one" keep having fun and enjoy yourself!! I'm so happy for you!

8

Chrysalis

Well Done!

Sweetiepie1

abcdefg you sound like you have your head screwed on, some pleasant, no strings, no pressure male company. Enjoy