A Week of Verbal Abuse
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 17
A Week of Verbal Abuse
Hello Everyone. I would really like some advice. I have been dating a man for over a year now. He has been pretty good to me until this past week. He drinks everyday. Pretty much all day, although he does have a job. He usually comes over to my house everyday between 2:30 and 4:00 to take a nap and then gets up and starts drinking again.
Anyway, this past week, all he has done is insult me and make fun of me about everything. He has lived with me in my house for the past four months. He keeps a small apt. but never stays there. I asked him why he kept the apt. and why he just didn't just move in with me and he said he likes his independence and that is his home. Well, this past weekend, we went to the beachhouse with his sister and her boyfriend. While we were there, he would watch all the girls on the beach and say things like "Wow" she is hot, or look at the breasts or a** on that girl, etc. etc. right in front of me. All of these girls are young enough to be his daughter. He would tell me I should be checking out the guys. It just made me sick. He told his sister's boyfriend that if he could find a girl hot enough, he would ask her to move into his tiny apt. with him. He just told me he didn't want to live with anyone.
He text messaged people and I would ask him who he was texting and he told me it was none of my business. I finally told him to get his things out of my house. I have not heard from him since. I'm still waiting for him to come and get his things.
My self esteem is so low today. I just had to vent a little. Are all alcoholics so rude, self absorbed and verbally abusive. Your info would be helpful.
Anyway, this past week, all he has done is insult me and make fun of me about everything. He has lived with me in my house for the past four months. He keeps a small apt. but never stays there. I asked him why he kept the apt. and why he just didn't just move in with me and he said he likes his independence and that is his home. Well, this past weekend, we went to the beachhouse with his sister and her boyfriend. While we were there, he would watch all the girls on the beach and say things like "Wow" she is hot, or look at the breasts or a** on that girl, etc. etc. right in front of me. All of these girls are young enough to be his daughter. He would tell me I should be checking out the guys. It just made me sick. He told his sister's boyfriend that if he could find a girl hot enough, he would ask her to move into his tiny apt. with him. He just told me he didn't want to live with anyone.
He text messaged people and I would ask him who he was texting and he told me it was none of my business. I finally told him to get his things out of my house. I have not heard from him since. I'm still waiting for him to come and get his things.
My self esteem is so low today. I just had to vent a little. Are all alcoholics so rude, self absorbed and verbally abusive. Your info would be helpful.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Arlington, VA
Posts: 4,290
I'm sorry you are going thru this. It must hurt like heck to be treated so badly. You deserve so much more than what he is giving you.
As far as getting his stuff out of your place, you may want to set a definite time for him to come and get it all. Have it all boxed up and ready to go. Perhaps arrange to have the police or some friends there in case he gets nasty or violent. ANd let him know that if he doesn't show up at the appointed time, his stuff will be placed outside for him to pick up or lose as he sees fit.
You might want to give AlAnon or therapy a try also to help you understand it all.
As far as getting his stuff out of your place, you may want to set a definite time for him to come and get it all. Have it all boxed up and ready to go. Perhaps arrange to have the police or some friends there in case he gets nasty or violent. ANd let him know that if he doesn't show up at the appointed time, his stuff will be placed outside for him to pick up or lose as he sees fit.
You might want to give AlAnon or therapy a try also to help you understand it all.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: in the present moment
Posts: 2,060
Hi Warmheart
Welcome
I'm sorry to hear you have had such a painful situation going on. Its great you found us!
You sound like you have enough of your good healthy self-esteem within yourself to see the damage this man will cause you if you allow it to continue. Separating yourself from him was the best thing you can do.
I know it may feel helpful to try and understand him and to find out how alcohlics think, or if all alcoholics are this way, but, the priority is really you right now. The answer to your question is No. Not all alcoholics are verbally or emotionally abusive. Many are though. Most untreated alcoholics are insane in one way or another and to be emotionally involved with one is very challenging.
To say the least......
alanon, therapy and sticking around here and learning more and posting as often as you want, will help you. We're here for you.
Welcome
I'm sorry to hear you have had such a painful situation going on. Its great you found us!
You sound like you have enough of your good healthy self-esteem within yourself to see the damage this man will cause you if you allow it to continue. Separating yourself from him was the best thing you can do.
I know it may feel helpful to try and understand him and to find out how alcohlics think, or if all alcoholics are this way, but, the priority is really you right now. The answer to your question is No. Not all alcoholics are verbally or emotionally abusive. Many are though. Most untreated alcoholics are insane in one way or another and to be emotionally involved with one is very challenging.
To say the least......
alanon, therapy and sticking around here and learning more and posting as often as you want, will help you. We're here for you.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
Are all alcoholics so rude, self absorbed and verbally abusive.
I'm sorry that you are dealing with this right now. Even though it's hard right now, it sounds like having him out of your life is a good thing.
gentle hugs
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 17
Thanks everyone. I sent him a text msg. to come and pick up his things. He wanted me to pack up everything and bring them to him. I told him no and he texted back and called me a jerk.
Sorry I wasted so much time on someone like him. I will never date anyone with alcohol problems again.
Sorry I wasted so much time on someone like him. I will never date anyone with alcohol problems again.
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