Kindeyes

A little background first. A couple of months ago my daughter took care of our house and dogs for two weeks while we were out of town. Evidently, she and her abf threw a "small party" and left music blaring on our outdoor speakers until 5:00am. The next door neighbors tried to call, knocked on the door, etc. to no avail. The next morning the neighbor evidently confronted my daughter and told her that it was not appreciated.

My daughter's abf recently completed 21 days at a treatment center (which he voluntarily went into after stealing my daughter's car during a black out and leaving her stranded in another city) and is "in recovery". (Daughter is 21...abf is 28).

He commented that he "doesn't like the next door neighbor because she's mean." I replied "Why would you think that?" He said "I don't like the way she talked to your daughter." I said "Oh you mean the way she talked to her after the drunken bash that kept them up until all hours of the morning with loud music? Well, I've informed them that if anything like that happens again they have my full support in calling the police." (I guess I'm really mean.)

I guess what bothered me is that he doesn't get it. He just got out of treatment but he doesn't seem to understand that they had a good reason for confronting my daughter regarding the activities that were taking place at our house in our absence. He sees THE NEIGHBORS as being in the wrong instead of my daughter and himself.

He just doesn't get it.

Rella927

KindEyes

Nope they will not get it until there has been a lot more recovery under his belt!

Nope your not mean at all-your sober

Next time hopefully the neighbor will call the cops on them but, better yet think of the positive that this never happens again and he stays moving in the right direction of recovery!

Wishing you all the best

Barbara52

I guess he hasn't gotten to the point where he can accept responsibilitiy and natural consequences of actions. I hope he gets there.

hadenoughnow

Like most A's he is probably immature, his thinking is more along the lines of a 14 year old than a 28 year old.

lexusgirl

I have heard that addicts and alcoholics are stunted at the age they first started using? My exabf is 30, and he started using at 14, so this makes total sense.

Kindeyes it is so baffling the way they act even while sober...it's just part of the disease.