KBear_73

:codiepolice

Should I find this funny?

Alarming?

I'm laughing yet it also has nearly set me off on a nervous breakdown ... how on EARTH did I end up as a codie???????????????????????

And why can I not back away???? Cause I'm a codie right?? Maybe one day I'll realise that somehow it's not 'true love' and that 'he'll never actually change' and I really am a codie ........ so sad for me!!

cagefree

I found that smiley utterly hysterical!

I found that when I was able to put answers after the exact questions you pose, I was well on my way into recovering from codependency

KBear_73

Thanks cagefree ... I know that I already know the answers because otherwise I wouldn't even be posting on these boards! I'm just so frustrated with myself for letting myself get to this point in my life.

Cynay

KBear.... dont be so hard on yourself.... Codies are pretty amazing people.

I love that smileie cuz it reminds me that I get to close to others. Usually when I get to that point there is a good chance there is something wrong inside of me that I need to look at.

BTW who said it is not True Love... just not the way you want/need to be loved. Even though sometimes love can be destructive, it does not mean it is not the best love that either they can give or I can feel. My first Alcoholic was my mother.... I loved her with all my heart and I do believe she loved me with all her heart.... it took many years of theraphy and recovery to discover .... even though it hurt, that is all she had. She did love me....

Im not suggesting to stay in harms way, Im only suggesting that maybe all love does not come with a pretty pink bow.

denny57

After spending 18 years in denial over the fact I was married to an alcoholic, I then spent a couple more in denial over the fact I had been in denial. It was extremely difficult for me to admit I had turned over my life to someone else's addiction. I was better than that! Just keep :atv

peaceteach

K-bear,
At a very low point in my life with an A (many years ago) I was given the book "Codependent No More" to read. I actually laughed when I read the list of codependent traits at the beginning of the book because I had everyone except one! I think it was kind of an hysterical laughter also, at that time. It was then that I realized how damaged I was in life, but I also realized that if I was that low, I really couldn't get any lower and from then on I knew the only direction for me was UP

KBear_73

Thanks everyone ... and to Cynay thank you! I guess I always thought that because I 'chose' him as opposed to him being born into my family that it was just me making a mistake but I have both a brother and a cousin who are addicts and I would never desert them because they are 'blood' ... I do feel the same way about my ABF and your post was thought-provoking

Daisy30

I do love this smiley...I actually repeat it in my head many times during the day.

It makes me smile, but also is a reminder to let Ah addiction be his problem and not mine