Alcohol is taking over my family.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: California
Posts: 4
Alcohol is taking over my family.
I'm so grateful for this site and I'm so glad I found it.
I'm here today because my heart is hurting knowing that all my siblings (3) are alcoholics and it scares me knowing that I could easily join them in this disease. I don't drink everyday, maybe 3 times a month but when I do drink it's never 1 or 2 drinks, I drink until I pass out or I get really mean. I have decided that this is not acceptable for me or my family and that drinking with all the alcoholics in my family is not helping them either, it's enabling. I refuse to lead this kind of life and I know I have it in me to do it.
My father is a recovering alcoholic and has been sober 29 years. His parents were both alcoholics and his father died at the age of 50 from pancreatic cancer. My mother's father was also an alcoholic, so this disease goes back many generations.
My oldest brother (37) has two children and is married to my high school best friend. His wife is always telling me he's doing so much better but everytime I visit them he looks high has a kite. My younger brother is 33 and he looks the worst out of all of them. He has one child and a wife that threatens divorce daily. Whenever there is a family function he has his cooler right beside him. One time I moved it out of the way and he got very upset.
My sister (33) a twin to my youngest brother is a closet/binge drinker. She is "always" mentioning about how she hasn't drank that much lately or the last time she did drink it was only a couple of beers. She went out recently and she downed 4 beers before driving off to her destination.
Thinking about all this is heart wrenching.
Thanks for reading.
I'm here today because my heart is hurting knowing that all my siblings (3) are alcoholics and it scares me knowing that I could easily join them in this disease. I don't drink everyday, maybe 3 times a month but when I do drink it's never 1 or 2 drinks, I drink until I pass out or I get really mean. I have decided that this is not acceptable for me or my family and that drinking with all the alcoholics in my family is not helping them either, it's enabling. I refuse to lead this kind of life and I know I have it in me to do it.
My father is a recovering alcoholic and has been sober 29 years. His parents were both alcoholics and his father died at the age of 50 from pancreatic cancer. My mother's father was also an alcoholic, so this disease goes back many generations.
My oldest brother (37) has two children and is married to my high school best friend. His wife is always telling me he's doing so much better but everytime I visit them he looks high has a kite. My younger brother is 33 and he looks the worst out of all of them. He has one child and a wife that threatens divorce daily. Whenever there is a family function he has his cooler right beside him. One time I moved it out of the way and he got very upset.
My sister (33) a twin to my youngest brother is a closet/binge drinker. She is "always" mentioning about how she hasn't drank that much lately or the last time she did drink it was only a couple of beers. She went out recently and she downed 4 beers before driving off to her destination.
Thinking about all this is heart wrenching.
Thanks for reading.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 5,075
Welcome, sasblonde. One of my good friends in Al-Anon, who is also alcoholic, has the same situation as you. Both parents (now deceased) and all his siblings are alcoholic.
When he speaks at meetings, he talks of how he started with Al-Anon, went to AA and now attends both.
Keep posting - have you also tried over at the alcoholism board?
((()))
When he speaks at meetings, he talks of how he started with Al-Anon, went to AA and now attends both.
Keep posting - have you also tried over at the alcoholism board?
((()))
Member
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 196
Here is an article about how alcoholism progresses. Alcohol
Here's how alcoholism typically progresses:
SOCIAL DRINKERS — Most Americans are characterized as social drinkers. Statistics indicate, however, that one of every 16 drinkers will become alcoholic.
WARNING SIGNS — The individual begins to drink more frequently and more than his associates. He drinks for confidence or to tolerate or escape problems. No party or other occasion is complete without a couple of drinks.
EARLY ALCOHOLISM — With increasing frequency, the individual drinks too much. "Blackouts," or temporary amnesia, occur during or following drinking episodes. He drinks more rapidly than others, sneaks drinks and in other ways conceals the quantity that he drinks. He resents any reference to his drinking habits.
BASIC ALCOHOLISM — The individual begins to lose control as to the time, place and amount of his drinking. He gets drunk unintentionally. He hides and protects his liquor supply. He drinks to overcome the hangover from his prior drinking. He tries new patterns of drinking as to time and place of drinking. He attempts cures by moving to new locations or by changing his drinking companions.
CHRONIC ALCOHOLISM — The individual becomes a loner in his drinking. He develops alibis, excuses and rationalizations to cover up or explain his drinking. Personality and behavior changes occur that affect all relationships — family, employment, community. Extended binges, physical tremors, hallucinations and delirium, complete rejection of social reality, malnutrition with accompanying illness and disease and early death all occur as chronic alcoholism progresses.
Source: American Medical Association
When I first met my husband, he was in early alcoholism. When we were engaged and then married, it progressed to basic alcholism. When he lost his job 4 months into our marriage, it progressed to chronic alcoholism. The progression of the addiction of alcoholism can be triggered by certain events, but more than anything it is simply the denial that there is a problem. It is good that you are acknowledging this now.
It is better to deal with it now than when it progresses. Treatment is very expensive. AA can help you with building a good support to help you not progess in the disease.
Al Anon can help you to take care of yourself and to help you deal with your siblings. I do know people who are in both. They like Al Anon better because the problem is about someone else, versus AA the problem is more with yourself.
As a wife of a recovering alcoholic, I do like to go to go to AA meetings with my husband. I am simply there to support him. And it does help me to understand what other alcoholics are going through. With Al Anon, I can be completely honest about the hurt that I am going through with the alcoholic.
My husband has gone on Newcomers to Recovery forum on this website. They are really friendly. : )
Here's how alcoholism typically progresses:
SOCIAL DRINKERS — Most Americans are characterized as social drinkers. Statistics indicate, however, that one of every 16 drinkers will become alcoholic.
WARNING SIGNS — The individual begins to drink more frequently and more than his associates. He drinks for confidence or to tolerate or escape problems. No party or other occasion is complete without a couple of drinks.
EARLY ALCOHOLISM — With increasing frequency, the individual drinks too much. "Blackouts," or temporary amnesia, occur during or following drinking episodes. He drinks more rapidly than others, sneaks drinks and in other ways conceals the quantity that he drinks. He resents any reference to his drinking habits.
BASIC ALCOHOLISM — The individual begins to lose control as to the time, place and amount of his drinking. He gets drunk unintentionally. He hides and protects his liquor supply. He drinks to overcome the hangover from his prior drinking. He tries new patterns of drinking as to time and place of drinking. He attempts cures by moving to new locations or by changing his drinking companions.
CHRONIC ALCOHOLISM — The individual becomes a loner in his drinking. He develops alibis, excuses and rationalizations to cover up or explain his drinking. Personality and behavior changes occur that affect all relationships — family, employment, community. Extended binges, physical tremors, hallucinations and delirium, complete rejection of social reality, malnutrition with accompanying illness and disease and early death all occur as chronic alcoholism progresses.
Source: American Medical Association
When I first met my husband, he was in early alcoholism. When we were engaged and then married, it progressed to basic alcholism. When he lost his job 4 months into our marriage, it progressed to chronic alcoholism. The progression of the addiction of alcoholism can be triggered by certain events, but more than anything it is simply the denial that there is a problem. It is good that you are acknowledging this now.
It is better to deal with it now than when it progresses. Treatment is very expensive. AA can help you with building a good support to help you not progess in the disease.
Al Anon can help you to take care of yourself and to help you deal with your siblings. I do know people who are in both. They like Al Anon better because the problem is about someone else, versus AA the problem is more with yourself.
As a wife of a recovering alcoholic, I do like to go to go to AA meetings with my husband. I am simply there to support him. And it does help me to understand what other alcoholics are going through. With Al Anon, I can be completely honest about the hurt that I am going through with the alcoholic.
My husband has gone on Newcomers to Recovery forum on this website. They are really friendly. : )
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: California
Posts: 4
Thanks so much for all the helpful advice and kind words. What a wonderful place! Today I will be ordering some books/pamplets from familiesanonymous.org and also the Big Book from Amazon. Thanks so much!
Last edited by sasblonde; 02-12-2008 at 12:10 PM. Reason: editing spelling
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