DESIGNER

Peaches I am so sorry for what you are going through. I can't even imagine having children involved in all of this. I don't have a lot of input because children are not involved but just hearing your story makes me realize that children do not change the alcoholics behavior. So many times when we have fights I always ask him if we were to have children would he do this in front of them. He says no way and that he would make sure that his children never were introduced to drinking in that way. I think that he would be a wonderful father....he is a wonderful uncle but just reading some of these stories makes me realize that the love of a child does not cure the sickness of alcoholism.
I know you are sad but keep going strong through this. In the end you will know that you did the best you could and your children will thank you for it. I don't know if you are religious or not and don't want to offend you but my favorite saying is is that God will not give you more than you can handle.

Peaches1_99

Designer: I do have a strong faith in God. I had to learn that when my son got so sick. He had menigococcemia. A rare form of meningitis. He almost died. Actually did "check out" for 6 minutes when he was only 8 months old.

Thank you for your kind words.

God bless

Peaches1_99

What a huge disappointment (or is an eye-opener) to come back and read this thread and realize I could have posted it tonight... But, it's almost 3 years later.

My AH got sober for about a year (2009-2010) but then fell off the wagon early last year. I keep hanging on to the time we had together but I don't believe I will ever see that again. He is sure know that he can control it because he was sober for a year. He is drinking about 1/2 pint a day and figures that is "not alot".

And so here I am again, scared, hurt and confused about what that means for me. I love my AH but at some point I know I have to love myself more and give myself permission to find happiness in my life. There was a time when I believed I could be happy with him... now I am just not so sure anymore.

I took my wedding ring off tonight and gave it to him. I told him I do not intend to put it back on again unless he goes to get help and sobers up. I also told him that the longer it takes for him to seek help the more likely I am to begin contemplating a divorce. He didn't care. So now I'm left wondering now what?

Thanks for listening to me belly-ache about the same thing 3 years later.

Hopeworks

Divorce can be redemptive... if you love him (see thread on love before deciding) then spell out your boundaries and time frames as to what it would take to save the marriage. Seperate until he proves himself...

The stats aren't good... but nothing is impossible with God and it might be worth trying. Only you can decide.