kj21

That is a great question! I don't know the answer though.

LaTeeDa

What I gather from many of the threads on SR, is that simply staying away from the alcohol is not enough. It also takes changes in behavior, attitude, and beliefs.

I believe the same is true for me as a codependent. I must transform the parts of me that led me to unhealthy, self-destructive choices so that I can make healthy choices in the future. When I change from within, then I can decide if I need to "abstain" from certain people, situations, or what have you. But merely removing myself from someone or something does nothing to solve my inner problems.

L

Chrysalis

I think this question might be interesting to post on it's own Thread. I don't want to move this thread off topic.

karmakoma

It's not my job to parent anyone unless I am legally obliged. If another adult wishes to learn how to function as such, then there are plenty of agencies out there to assist.

I think this was so much at the core of what was so screwed up about my relationship with my ex. I wanted him to be a certain way, he kind of wanted to be that way (but only so I wouldn't leave), but the reality was so far from the fantasy. I decided to set myself free to find someone who was already what I wanted in a partner, rather than trying to mould play-doh. It hasn't happened yet, however I am so glad that I left so that I can be me and he can be him.