ladybug81

Hi. I am a newbie here and I would like to introduce myself. I have been reading a lot about what everyone else here is going through. Even though it's unfortunate, it's almost a relief that others can understand what I have been going through. Even though I know others with alcohol problems, no one around me can relate to the severity of my abf's addiction to alcohol. He is a binge drinker- he will drink continuously for months at a time until he either runs out of money or ends up in jail or the hospital. Then he will stay sober for a few months and then start again. A couple months ago, after a 6 week binge, he finally ran out of money and was forced to quit "cold turkey". About 24 hours after quitting, he got up and went into the bathroom and began seizuring. He cracked his head open on the bathtub and I ran into the bathroom to find him surrounded in a puddle of blood. To make a long story short, he ended up in the hospital and swore he would never drink again. I really thought he meant it this time, and he made it 2 1/2 months sober. But when a few of his friends invited him out, I guess he couldnt resist. Now he has been on a binge for a week. I took him to stay with his friends because I figured that if they could help him to start drinking again, then they can be there for him this time. I guess what my question to others that have gone through this is what helps you get up one day and finally decide not drink anymore when you feel so awful? Is there anything that can help him or is a hospital visit really the only way for him to detox?

hope2bhappy

Welcome, LadyBug. Detox should be medically supervised. You saw what happened to him in the bathroom that day. But he won't get help until he is ready.

Old friends seem to be a real trigger for someone trying to stay sober. I know of several people who have been trying to work a program of sobriety without much luck. I met them when my AH was in rehab. They keep reconnecting with their old group of friends, and before you know it, they are drinking (or using) again.

He will get help when he is ready. There are no magic answers or solutions. Keep posting.

ladybug81

Thanks a lot. I just think it's so sad that he considers these people his "true" friends and I don't see them as friends at all. They all know he has this problem, but still provoke him to drink. Right now, I think I'm his only real friend but there's nothing I can do.

MsGolightly

i agree with hope... he'll sober up if and when he's ready. old friends he drinks with and being in environments which remind him of drinking are probably some of the most difficult things alcoholics face. it takes a lot of effort to change your crowd and the places you hang out, but it's pretty much up to him. keeping coming here and reading all you can; it's a really terrific place for advice and to hear what others have gone through.

ladybug81

Thank you all. I am so thankful that I stumbled upon this site. Before today, I only had a slight idea of what my abf was going through. Until today, I didn't even realize that I was an enabler and I was always trying to "rescue" him without him directly facing the consequences of his actions. Now I can try to learn from others and I now know what I need to do for myself.

Barbara52

I suspect that his "friends" are also alcoholic.

And of course there's nothing wrong with any of them, they're just having fun afterall. {yes that is indeed sarcasm}

As the other have said, only he can decide to deal with his problems. You have to take care of yourself. You deserve so much more than this sort of life!

Congrats on getting him out of the house. That was a wonderfully healthy thing to do and shows you have self respect.

gjfc3

Grats to you Ladybug on getting him out of the house! I love your post about knowing you cannot "rescue" him...that is what finally got me moving in the right direction...the direction of health and happiness. It has also enabled me to release my guilt on not being the best "wife" (so he says of course) but I know better....what I am NOT is an enabler anymore...biggest hugs to you!!