Do I Stay or Do I Go?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 477
Welcome to SR, Brandi!
Hi and it's good to see you here because you can learn so much first-hand on these boards about the disease of addiction (alcoholism and drugs).
You may not see it this way yet (but keep reading!) but your XABF has done you a favour.....he has set you free from the disease which controls him. You cannot cure him and you cannot help to cure him. Read the stickies at the top of this board! Your XABF needs to start by working a programme of recovery. If he goes to AA, he will get a sponsor via the organization. Sponsors are recovering alcoholics.
Don't put your life on hold. I suggest you read two books by Melody Beattie....Co-dependant No More and Beyond Co-dependency. In Beyond Co-dependency, Beattie shows the reader that alcoholics are NOT available for relationships until they have been in a programme for at least one year and she asks the reader WHY you would want to be in a relationship with a person who was not available?
I believed I was different. I believed that my XABF was different. I believed that my love for him would set him on the right path. I was wrong. Melody Beattie was right! I deserved better than a man whose only priority in life was a bottle of vodka or whatever other alcohol happened to be available.
I hope that you, Brandi, will be able to come to the same conclusion about yourself. You only have one life. Make it count!
ARL
You may not see it this way yet (but keep reading!) but your XABF has done you a favour.....he has set you free from the disease which controls him. You cannot cure him and you cannot help to cure him. Read the stickies at the top of this board! Your XABF needs to start by working a programme of recovery. If he goes to AA, he will get a sponsor via the organization. Sponsors are recovering alcoholics.
Don't put your life on hold. I suggest you read two books by Melody Beattie....Co-dependant No More and Beyond Co-dependency. In Beyond Co-dependency, Beattie shows the reader that alcoholics are NOT available for relationships until they have been in a programme for at least one year and she asks the reader WHY you would want to be in a relationship with a person who was not available?
I believed I was different. I believed that my XABF was different. I believed that my love for him would set him on the right path. I was wrong. Melody Beattie was right! I deserved better than a man whose only priority in life was a bottle of vodka or whatever other alcohol happened to be available.
I hope that you, Brandi, will be able to come to the same conclusion about yourself. You only have one life. Make it count!
ARL
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