Been there, done that & my Mom
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 444
Been there, done that & my Mom
Happy Thanksgiving to you all -
Some of you may remember my story -- but I left my ah a couple of weeks ago. Before I left I struggled a great deal with my decision; and how it would hurt so many people and how disappointed my Mom would be. She was already planning our 25th wedding anniversary party -- she and my Dad have been married for almost 50 years. I just knew she would be so disappointed that I chose to leave rather than to give things one more chance and to work a little harder. I broke down many times with my therapist just thinking about how I would tell my Mom, and I am crying now thinking about it.
My parents live a couple hours away from me. My Mom also had recently been diagnosed with kidney cancer, and had surgery to remove the affected kidney (completely successful btw -- and good prognosis). I managed to tell her over the phone the weekend after I left, but gave her no details as to what the issues were.
My Mom and Dad are here for Thanksgiving (at my sister's house). I brought her over to see my apartment last night and we got to talk privately. She said -- "you don't have to tell me, but I see the signs". Then she told me how she was days away from leaving my Dad (13 years ago) because of his drinking. She has some regrets that she never followed through, but things did improve enough for her to stay. She told me she thinks I am very brave; and will help me (esp financially) in any way.
It's almost more than I can handle today; but I feel so validated and relieved. Well, I gotta stop because my daughter is out of the shower and I don't want her to see me crying.
Have a blessed day everyone!! You all mean the world to me.
Some of you may remember my story -- but I left my ah a couple of weeks ago. Before I left I struggled a great deal with my decision; and how it would hurt so many people and how disappointed my Mom would be. She was already planning our 25th wedding anniversary party -- she and my Dad have been married for almost 50 years. I just knew she would be so disappointed that I chose to leave rather than to give things one more chance and to work a little harder. I broke down many times with my therapist just thinking about how I would tell my Mom, and I am crying now thinking about it.
My parents live a couple hours away from me. My Mom also had recently been diagnosed with kidney cancer, and had surgery to remove the affected kidney (completely successful btw -- and good prognosis). I managed to tell her over the phone the weekend after I left, but gave her no details as to what the issues were.
My Mom and Dad are here for Thanksgiving (at my sister's house). I brought her over to see my apartment last night and we got to talk privately. She said -- "you don't have to tell me, but I see the signs". Then she told me how she was days away from leaving my Dad (13 years ago) because of his drinking. She has some regrets that she never followed through, but things did improve enough for her to stay. She told me she thinks I am very brave; and will help me (esp financially) in any way.
It's almost more than I can handle today; but I feel so validated and relieved. Well, I gotta stop because my daughter is out of the shower and I don't want her to see me crying.
Have a blessed day everyone!! You all mean the world to me.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 477
Mothers do surprise us when we least suspect it. My mother is not the warmest soul and I dreaded telling her that my marriage had gone to he** in a basket but she listened to me, she never judged the marriage and, when I had finished speaking through my tears, she held me close and said "you deserve better".
I'm so glad to read you can talk to your mother.
ARL
I'm so glad to read you can talk to your mother.
ARL
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Omak WA
Posts: 1,049
Marriage split up...
It sounds like it is working for you. I feel it is a very good sign that your Mom understands and wants to help you. My parents stood by me when I divorced my second husband and helped me pay some of my bills. I had a low paying job and had these bills my husband let pile up when I thought he was paying them...the PUD, house payment, and a Visa Card. He was court ordered to pay the house payments and the PUD bill and the Visa Card was in his name only. I did call Visa to tell them I would be responsible for half of the Visa and they said No...& asked me if I wanted my own card and I said NO!
Well, as expected he didn't pay the PUD and they called me at work so I had to have my Dad pay it..which he could at the PUD where he lived. My husband never did pay a housepayment and I only brought home $600 a month so couldn't pay it myself. So I sold the house six days before it was going to go into Foreclosure. That was luck on my part. His share of the sale of the house went to the back payments and his court costs. I used mine to pay off my car and my lawyer.
Hope you have a nice Thanksgiving with your family. We are having dinner here with our youngest daughter and her family. The other kids live too far away and over mountain passes to come.
kelsh
Well, as expected he didn't pay the PUD and they called me at work so I had to have my Dad pay it..which he could at the PUD where he lived. My husband never did pay a housepayment and I only brought home $600 a month so couldn't pay it myself. So I sold the house six days before it was going to go into Foreclosure. That was luck on my part. His share of the sale of the house went to the back payments and his court costs. I used mine to pay off my car and my lawyer.
Hope you have a nice Thanksgiving with your family. We are having dinner here with our youngest daughter and her family. The other kids live too far away and over mountain passes to come.
kelsh
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